This morning, Sara Walsh Delaney died. In Beaumont, Sara had been in the same room as Pádraig when he arrived there in late 2013. We got to know her and her parents quite well and had staid in touch with them ever since. They came to Germany just a few weeks ago to get very specialised and intensive therapy for Sara. Back in Ireland, her health deteriorated and she moved into St. Francis Hospice in Blanchardstown.

Sara was an inspiration to us. During the time we knew her, she showed such a strength and shared so many beautiful smiles with us. We learned from Sara that you never give up, that you have to keep fighting, and that an acute hospital is the wrong place for you when you need therapy and specialised care.

Sara’s long journey came to an end this morning. It was a journey that her parents accompanied her on all the way. They were always by her side, always fighting her corner. She could not have had better advocates and friends in them.

Tonight, my thoughts and prayers are with Sara’s family. They lost the most beautiful daughter. But, I am sure that her spirit of love and their care will forever keep them together as one.

May she rest in peace.

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We were up most of the night. Pádraig didn’t go to sleep up until after 1am. Pádraig’s sister were in touch with some of the friends in Berkeley at that apartment house, waiting for the parents of their dead or injured friends to arrive.

This morning, listening to RTÉ, I could not but re-live those days almost exactly two years ago. When Pat arrived back from Germany later in the morning we were thinking about a way we could help those families on their way to Berkeley. Then one of RTÉ’s lifeline researchers rang and two hours later, I was talking to Damian O’Reilly, standing in for Joe Duffy.

There were a few things I had planned to say but didn’t manage to squeeze in to the conversation that focused on the great support the Irish provide to those living through moments no-one should have to live through. Charlie McGettigan from Co. Leitrim whose son died 17 years ago on a building site when he was 21 years old; Yvonne, whose son Keith died while on a J1, I think 7 years ago; as well as Anne-Marie, whose son died while on a J1 in the US I think 4 year ago and who has been campaigning for an Irish death cert for her son and others who died abroad ever since – all could not speak highly enough about the support they received from the Irish in the US and at home when they most needed it.

I felt a bit as the odd one out: After all, Pádraig had survived his accident. And Damian O’Reilly acknowledged this when he said that at least Pádraig was still with us today. That is why I wanted to say something to the parents, families, and friends of those who survived this terrible accident, some of them with life-changing injuries:

• Stay strong. Time will not make you forget but will help you to cope.
• You have time. Nothing needs to be rushed. But stay on course and keep going.
• Trust your instincts. Whatever doctors, insurance companies, or the police say – believe in yourselves. You know best what is right and what is wrong.
• If you think we can help in any way, let us know.

We are with you.

Just arrived back in Hamburg, hearing about the terrible tragedy that happened in Berkeley where six Irish students on a J1 visa died and eight got seriously injured when the balcony of an apartment where the students were celebrating the 21st Birthday of one of their friends collapsed. One of Pádraig’s sisters knows people who were at the party and has been in contact with them. They are ok but some of their best friends passed away tonight. Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam.

Tonight, Ireland will stay awake. Families will be trying to get onto flights to San Francisco in the morning. Parents will not believe what they are hearing.

I wish them the strength and the support they will need over the coming days and weeks.

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On my way over today, I started to write. I had time. When I was writing, I had, of course, no idea of what was happening almost in parallel in California. I would not have written this had I been aware of the tragedy happening at the same time in Berkeley. I would not have said that the world would keep turning and life would continue as before – because I know from my own experience that time is suspended when a tragedy like this happens. The world stops turning, stars are falling from the sky and the moon and the sun disappear, leaving you in something like a black hole… 

I listened to Niamh Kavanagh’s In your Eyes again which now, today, acquired a whole new meaning.

Do you know the feeling when your mind detaches from your surroundings and all of a sudden you get the feeling that you are watching a movie? Well, that’s what happened to me earlier. When, all of a sudden, I realised that all these people, so busy with their lives, would all die. Not today, not tomorrow. But one day, their turn would come and in one second, all their efforts, their work, whatever they had bought, whatever they had enjoyed – all of that would disappear with them.

Of course, nobody would even notice that, except for their families and friends – but in the grand scheme of things, the world would keep turning and others would take their place.

On Sunday, I had learned that one should never agree to play the part of poor Paddy Dignam on Bloomsday when people around the world, but especially in Dublin, dress up as the characters described in James Joyce’s Ulysses in order to re-inact that day, 16 of June 1904, described in details in one of the most famous books of all times. The reason is simple: poor Paddy Dignam was dead that day and, therefore, you would most likely spend the day dressed up as a corpse in a horse-drawn open hearse. (The man who once ended up as poor Paddy Dignam, today re-inacted one of the more lively characters of the novel and was planning to perform “The man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo“.)

I am on my way back to Hamburg via London Gatwick with Ryanair and onwards with the one airline that is worse than Ryanair, Easyjet, to Hamburg, because of what I would call, in the nicest of ways, ‘adverse circumstances’: important meetings at work running into the afternoon which I had to attend, apparently there was no way out of it. It was just too important. Truth be told: I felt like poor Paddy Dignam during those meetings, pretty useless and not very much engaged with what was going on around me. I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.

While I was away, Pat also had to come over for work (but only yesterday) and Pádraig’s sister had to look after him yesterday in the evening and during the night. She was in awe how much he helped her last night, turning him into comfortable positions at regular intervals. For the first time, she was looking after her brother on her own and the two managed brilliantly. It’s great to know that they got on so well and that, in addition to Pat, her sister, and myself there is another person who can take care of Pádraig overnight.

In Dublin, I emptied the sheds so that they could be demolished by the builders preparing the ground for Pádraig’s extension. Stuff I hadn’t seen for decades surfaced and was distributed across our back garden.

Among the stuff was a big tent we had spend the summer in, in Santander, the year Niamh Kavanagh won the European Song Contest with In your Eyes (1993).

That summer in Santander was so wet, they closed the outside swimming pool on the camp side. All those memories came back when I pitched the tent, most likely for the last time, to provide interim shelter to the lawnmower and all those long-treasured absolutely useless things I’d taken out of the shed. The result is an airy, summery feeling in our back garden.

 

You probably have had this feeling at one time or another, that you were doing something that was just a waste of time. Something at work when you were told to do something to ‘tick the boxes’, or at home when no-one appreciated that special effort you had made. There are many examples you could think of that demonstrate how valuable resources are being wasted, I am sure.

Pádraig continues with eating and drinking, all things that were completely of out the question.

A friend of Pádraig’s from way back in Beaumont, whom I visited yesterday (her daughter is now in Blanchardstown) shared this card with me that, I believe, is soooo relevant to our situation.

When you read it, it sounds ridiculous. But then – it requires very little adaptation to hear the voices of the government officials that told us and other parents to give in, to give up, to leave our loved ones in nursing homes, and to start looking after ourselves.

Today’s German Music Tip
Die Fantastischen Vier – Die Da!?! Ist das deutscher Punk?!
What’s hot
Essen und Trinken
What’s cold
Wasting time, stuff, effort…
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Für nichts und wiedernichts

Pádraig is continuing to dring more every day. He is trying to hard it’s incredible.

I spent time today emptying the sheds in our back garden. They will be removed to make room for Pádraig’s extension.

The time in Dublin always passes by so quickly. I met some old friends today – more on this tomorrow. Tonight, it’s just getting too late…

Yesterday, a package arrived with loads of t-shirts and shorts for the summer, especially tailored for Pádraig. There are friends of us who are in the clothing business (I think) and they had this idea to adapt really nice clothes for Pádraig by cutting them open at the back or the side and then adding velcro – that way, we don’t have to pull t-shirts, for example, over Pádraig’s head. It was so nice to receive that package, together with a lovely card! – It would be worth patenting the idea!!!

Sitting in Bremen Airport waiting for the delayed flight to Dublin. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been out much recently but I find this purpose-built Ryanair Terminal almost overwhelming. Getting in was the first challenge.

People were pushing as if it was a matter of life or death. One mother with a go-cart overtook everybody as did a girl who said her knee was hurting. Half an hour later, when I had made it through the checkpoint, both of them were browsing the perfume section of the shop. This time, the lady asking whether I had toothpaste (I had not) or liquids (I had not) in my bags or a laptop (had already taken that out), also asked me to take out all paper from my pockets. When I did, she wanted to pull it off me and, instinctively, I didn’t let go – after all, it was my wallet. There was a moment of tension until she put another, smaller box on the wallet and said, here you go!

Pádraig hated those ‘incidents’, always telling me to let go of my idiotic, embarrassing  behaviour, what difference did it make anyways, there were more important things in life to worry about than people just doing their (horrible) jobs. The funny thing is that I never changed anything nor did I achieve anything with my tendency to insist in all this unimportant stuff (other than to get on people’s nerves) whereas he had flight assistants offering him better seats or a second meal. He also could never be bothered to cue up for hours to get onto the plane first – why would you? We were just too nervous, too competitive, too afraid not to get the ‘right’ seats…

I spent this morning with Padraig, washing his hair, helping him to drink a glass of the nice-tasting calcium drink he usually gets through his PEG. While I was doing it, I realised again how much Pádraig is able to do, how proud he is of what he can do, how important it is to do all these things with him, to really connect with him all the time, encouraging and supporting him with all he can do, from eating to moving to communicating. I also realised again that carers cannot do this. So,…

Today’s German Music Tip
Mundstuhl, Live. No music but Comedy. German Comedy. It’s what you call an oxymoron (I had to look that up).
What’s hot
Airport Security
What’s cold
Pushing
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Kommensemamit…

What do you think, when you think of trees? – Really now. Think!

If you were not in the Generator in Dublin last night, you lost out on a brilliant night with absolutely brilliant music by some of Ireland’s finest. Here is a taste of what you missed.

Here is the launch of “Pádraig”:

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And here are the Dreamboaters going stronger and stronger:

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Finally, here is Maitiú with a few words:

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A huge big Thank You to all of Pádraig’s friends who sang the songs and shared their love for him. You all have no idea how much this means to him, and to us – it simply keeps him, and us, going, trying, living.

Here is something you could do: Tell all your friends about the song and send them to http://www.amhrandophadraig.com to download it.

In the meantime: have you thought about what comes to your mind when you think about trees?

You know, Germans have a deep, historical, mythical connection with trees. There are poems, songs, and tales about the German trees – and they literally turn up at every corner in Germany.

When I arrived in Ireland, the first thing I did was to plant a tree. When we moved to our new house in Iona, again: I put a tree into the front garden, and several others into the back garden. I love trees, but discovered that the Irish have a different relationship with them than a German would. They almost hate them: because during the summer they block off the sunlight and during the winter they shed their leaves and destroy the garden.

We were lucky that planted all those trees in our back garden – where else would Pádraig have put up his hammocks?

Today’s German Music Tip
Alexandra, Mein Freund der Baum (1968). Here is Alexandra talking to a dead tree. Compare that with Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi (1970) and the tree museum she’s singing about. Would be a nice topic for an essay on alterity…
What’s hot
Trees
What’s cold
Shade
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Da siehst Du vor lauter Bäumen den Wald nicht mehr.

I wish I could be there with you in Smithfield tonight, with Pádraig, enjoying the friendship, the laughs, the music. And neither myself nor Pádraig would mind having a pint (and himself making sure we wouldn’t be sitting too close to each other:).

There will be a night, and then many to follow.

Pádraig keeps going. When I think just a few weeks back and look at what he is doing these days, it’s truly remarkable. We went for a walk today, down the road to the the park. It seems that them famous German engineers weren’t interested in constructing footpaths. Proper footpaths without potholes. For Pádraig going down this road to the park is like a roller-coaster. Each time we walk that way, he is getting better in controlling his body. Visibly.

I checked out two websites today. They turned out to be offered by the same company but offer an amazing variety of good food for people with different kinds of handicaps.

(with thanks to a good friend who passed on the link!)

Biozoon is a German company based in Bremerhaven. It was founded just nine years ago and had tremendous success with their first product. It’s now based in a 600m2 facility and also just opened a second factory in the south of Germany to provide a better service to the southern folk.

There is such a range of topics in which to become an expert, it’s amazing.

An Saol definitely needs good music, but also a restaurant and the best food we can get for everybody living, working, and being there. Right?

Today’s German Music Tip
Duo Ohrenschmaus, Geht en Mann durch de Wald.
You’ll need a bit more than 15 minutes to watch this. But this is worth it. This is so absurd it’s unreal. Imagine a show like this in any other country. Impossible.
What’s hot
Music and Food
What’s cold
Tasteless anything
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Schirri (think: FIFA)

Make sure that you won’t miss the launch of “Pádraig” tomorrow night, 8pm, at the Dublin Generator Hostel, Smithfield:

https://www.facebook.com/events/374935589377452

There was an interview with Cian Mac Cárthaigh of IMLÉ and Marcus Mac Conghail on Raidió na Life tonight at 8pm, on Fios Feasa presented by Siobhán Seoighe, with a performance of Pádraig, the song. I managed to record the interview ok, but messed up the first minute or so of recording of the song for some reason – which, I guess, makes it a collectors item!

Pat interpreted for me, so I was able to follow, more or less, what was said. There were two things that stood out for me: one was that this is a song, an anthem, to all people with a good heart; the other was that Pádraig has friends that are legend.

The interview: 

The song: 

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This is summer. Holidays. Early morning runs. Long, warm, summer evenings in the back garden with family and friends.

Next year.

This year, I’m becoming an expert in ceiling lifts, hoisting systems, stair platform lifts, all sorts of bath tubs and other gadgets. Today, I found out that there is a “Verein” in Hamburg that has not just experts on communication, bathroom solutions, mobility, a barrier free construction, they also have a 200m2 show room where they show and demonstrate solutions from different manufacturers.

Of course, the “Verein” is financed by the Freie-und Hansestadt Hamburg and its services are free. We’ll go there tomorrow morning to get some ideas on how to make life for Pádraig a bit better.

There’s a “Verein” for everything in Germany. I should have know!

Pádraig is doing well. We’re trying to get the three meals a day going. Today was the first day with the changed schedule. T’wasn’t perfect (yet:) but a good try. It’ll be better tomorrow.

Today’s German Music Tip
BVB (100,000 Freunde, ein Verein) – It’s a different kind of “Verein”, but – in Germany, there one for everybody in the audience… and Pádraig really likes BVB!
What’s hot
BVB
What’s cold
The wind high up on a roof terrace, even on a hot day.
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Dat kannse dia vonne Backe putzen.

PS: Just found this on Raidió na Life’s website

There is no doubt that Pádraig is moving a little bit more every day. And that he is eating better and more every day. Being more himself.

Today, as on most days, his aunt rang to talk to him. Routine. Except that, today, he was holding his arm up (no support underneath) and he was holding the mobile (or ‘cell’ as our american friends would call it), he was holding the mobile in his left hand, holding it close to his ear.

We changed our arrangement with the carer slightly because were are going to introduce three meals a day for which he will need time. We will also go out more often and more regularly. It’s summer, after all!

And we’ll be getting more mobile by the day!!!

Today’s German Music Tip
Helene Fischer, Atemlos. This has been the song in Germany over the past year or two, and I never ever thought I would recommend it to anyone. But his version is like a lesson in German culture: Helene sings her summer hit at the celebrations of the German soccer team, the new world champions, at the Brandenburg Gate last summer. It’s iconic in a special sense.
What’s hot
Phone home
What’s cold
Helene Fischer
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Tortenarsch, Bratbär, Pflaumenaugust, Muffkopp, Kappskopp, und Dreckschüppengesicht – all words you should remember when you want to really insult somebody.