Moving through. Whatever barrier there is. Don’t let it stop you. Just keep going. Look at this sculpture. Isn’t it amazing?

I hadn’t expected to find this in the Botanic Gardens. It must be sculpture week because there’s almost more sculptures than trees in the Botanics this week. It’s fantastic. And it’s free.

There was another sculpture that really caught my eye and it is one that consists of a row of bottles that are being used to feed people directly into their stomach. I immediately recognised the shape and the colour of the top. We went over, looked at it and read the explanation by the artist explaining that each of these bottle represents a day of struggle and hope that things would get better for her baby who was born prematurely.

Eventually, we got soaked. The rain was torrential. Both Pádraig and myself smiled. What a great feeling: the rain on your skin, the wind blowing into your face so hard that you just about manage to breathe, the smell, the noise, the feel…. Isn’t life great!

That’s the distance. It’s unique in Europe and one of the most famous in the world. It’s 97 years old this year. No other capital has a swimming race through the middle of the city. When Bernard Fagan started it, he wanted to show off the good quality of the Liffey water.

Today, Maria brought a couple of Coca-Colas with her because she had been told last year by a friend that a Coke would kill all the germs in the Liffey water she swallowed. She did really well today and had great fun.

After the start of the race, Pádraig popped into Heather’s on the quays on their last day of trading after 150 years. It was the one and only shoe shop in Dublin that sold shoes for people with really large feet. Pádraig picked up a pair of original clogs. The closure of the shoe shop which originally had been a drapery store after decades and decades was such a big event that it made the main news today.

It was a good, relaxed day today, when we left our troubles behind and didn’t worry about tomorrow (too much). It’ll come. Anyways. And, of course, we haven’t got the faintest of what it’ll bring.

Who wants to be a millionaire? Honestly?! Two nights in a row, Pádraig had a brilliant time making choices, asking the audience, ringing a friend, asking for a 50:50. The thing is: there was no need to ring a friend, because it was his friends who played the iconic game with him, always with the most tasty biscuits and a straight cupotea….

Try to see it my way.

Talking about friends. I spend the evening, a Friday evening, with a friend who is helping me to plan and cost (and, hopefully, implement) the premises for the An Saol Project. I promise you: if this works out, there will be the biggest party ever in premises that would be unaffordable if they were in NY or in the London docklands. Simply breath-taking!

We can work it out. Life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.

This is people power. In a really imaginative way. Not confrontational. But determined. We don’t have them in Germany. But in Ireland, there are parks that are locked at night. So, what do you do if you want to go for a walk in the park after sunset? Do you break the lock? Do you cut the chain?

No. You do exactly the opposite. You put on plenty of locks and chains to keep the gate open. Ingenious! Who would have thought about this approach? It’s like a double lock and chain …

Pádraig’s friends started what will hopefully become a weekly Thursday evening quiz and fun session with Pádraig. Plenty of tea and biscuits. And an interactive quiz show. From what I heard, it wasn’t really the questions, nor the answers that mattered. But the interaction. The fun. And the biscuits. (Yes, I confess, I just finished them up:)

The approach of the people who kept the gates open, rather than opening the closed gates, doesn’t get out of my head.

Because it’s exactly what we need to do with rehabilitation, therapy, integration, participation and all those things that sABI survivors need. Rather than trying to reverse what the ‘system’ is not doing by trying to cut through their red tape and chains, we just need to put up our own tape and chains and keep the gate open for what our loved ones need. Keep it coming. Never allow any gates, any access to be closed.

Pádraig changed his mind. He had been telling us that the most difficult aspect of his injury is that it is difficult from him to communicate, that it is difficult for us to understand what he is telling us. Today he said that not being able to go out and hanging out with his friends is even more difficult. And who wouldn’t understand that. Just stop for a moment and try to imagine what having to handle this gigantic change must be like. Imagining it is almost unbearable. The reality must be unreal.

We are making progress with An Saol. Plans are being drawn up by a friend which will allow us to reach a decision point on whether we will be able to go ahead with the refurbishment of premises that are available for rent, premises that would be super cool. At the same time we are still with the Charity Regulator trying to get charity status for An Saol. All the scandals in the charity sector over the past months and years have made that process infinitely more difficult. Another reality that seems unreal. Imagine, we have a project approved, the money has been allocated, and we are waiting for what to me looks and sounds like a formality. Unreal.

There are other aspects of my life that are unreal. So unreal, in fact, that I don’t want to think about them too much. That I’m blocking them out. Because, as horrid as they might be, I won’t be able to change them. So I acknowledge them and then focus on aspects of my life and the life of the ones I care for which I can influence and make better. World peace, yes. But not in far away countries. At home. At work. At leisure time.

Some blame Thatcher. Most of us blame Trump. Trump blames North Korea. Others blame climate change. The rain. The temperature. The traffic. The Germans. Rarely their mothers. More often their fathers.

I have a friend who once told me: sure, psychology, first semester. First reaction: blame someone else. It’s called ‘psychological projection’ in psychological theory. We’ve all done it. It’s kind of liberating. You offload responsibility to someone else. So you don’t have to accept it.

The disadvantage is that with the blame and the responsibility you also hand over control. If someone else is to blame, you won’t ever be able to correct the wrong. Or to do the right thing yourself.

Blame also absorbs a lot of energy, and generates negativity.

If you want to change anything, you have to be positive, you have to believe that you are in charge and can really make a difference. And you need all the energy you can get to make that happen. And positivity.

Does that prevent me from blaming people and institutions for their truly hurtful, unjust and irresponsible actions? – No way.

The good news today are: Pádraig had a long visit by to of his best friends. AND, hear hear, he reduced the intake of fluid via the PEG to a record-low one portion!

I’m not talking about the computer-type tablet.

Nor am I talking about the drug-type tablet. I’m referring to the only tablet Pádraig has been taking for a long time, and that is a calcium supplement. Why? Well, because today was the first day I took that tablet orally. We tried it out ourselves and then asked Pádraig to chew it, as one should. So far, he’d been taking it with water via his PEG. Today, he chewed and then swallowed it. Small step. But significant. And important.

There are a few things I came across which I wanted to share. One is an article in The Guardian by Jonathan Friesland who wrote recently that hurricane

Harvey has killed an estimated 44 Texans and forced some 32,000 into shelters since it struck, a week ago. That is a catastrophe for every one of those individuals, of course. Still, those figures look small alongside the havoc wreaked by flooding across southern Asia during the very same period. In the past few days, more than 1,200 people have been killed, and the lives of some 40 million others turned upside down, by torrential rain in northern India, southern Nepal, northern Bangladesh and southern Pakistan.

And, of course, we hardly heard about it at all. People are not equal even in death.

Finally, Kathy Armstrong wrote in the Irish Independent just a few days ago about a young Galway man (22) who was hit by a car in Philadelphia in the US and is struggling for his life. You can read more about what happened to this young man and donate to support his recovery. Apparently, he has not insurance to cover his rehab.

The next date for your diary.

Where else would you be on a Friday night than at this incredible, outstanding, energising event supporting Pieta House, Headway and An Saol.

It’ll be a an incredible night out, with loads of good music, good company and brilliant publicity Join u! (You’ll need  ticket! Get one today!)

Got a good reason for taking the easy way out – to Djouce, a hilly wooded area a bit more than half an hour’s drive from our house in Co. Wicklow. (If you have a few minutes, watch the original video of the “Day Tripper” from 1965, which was – for whatever reason – uploaded just a couple of weeks ago. The moves during the intro are absolutely hilarious.)

The day felt a bit like the Camino: a long, quiet walk with tons of fresh air, with few people around, fantastic smells from the trees and the grass around us, good conversations and never-ending time.

In fact, it was so nice that we decided that we’ll be going on Day Trips every Saturday, weather permitting, into ‘nature’. There must be gazillions of trails and walks in and around Dublin just waiting to be discovered. And there is nothing like a bit of a distance, from where the world looks blue and green, where there is harmony, and where there’re voices of hope and peace. – God is watching us. From a distance.

The shop where the bike was bought said ‘bring it in tomorrow’. The owner of the shop down the road said ‘Ah sure, its almost half five and I’m closing up. Bring it in tomorrow’. I had explained that the race is tomorrow and that it was just a change of break pads – which I had in my pocket but could not change myself. And then: a really nice young man in the third shop said ‘sure, bring it in’ and then changed the pads in 2 minutes. He wouldn’t take any money. Nor would he when I came in a second time when I needed help adjusting one of the breaks themselves. (Note: *not* my bike, not my race:)

 

Isn’t it amazing that shop #1 and shop #2 are still around? I mean, would you ever really go back to them? I mean, I am the customer, I’m going to pay, I need their help, I’ve even bought products worth hundreds of euros from them. And then they don’t have 2 miserable minutes? I had to think of insurance companies who charge their loyal customers (who don’t shop around at renewal date) twice the premium they charge new customer (who do shop around). They take your money and run…

The philosophy seems to be (like with the Irish water charges): if you’re stupid enough to pay (or stick with a bad service) you don’t deserve any better.

When the approach should be that relationships are valued, people are supported (not exploited) and charges are levied fairly. But, of course, that approach is fast disappearing. Sadly.

Pádraig had the therapy session of his life today. He even continued practicing by himself with some exercises when the therapist was just chatting to him and us about how he could be working out on his own.

We have decided to look for more therapists and also for carers ourselves. People Pádraig needs and people he would be happy to work with, to spend time with – and vice versa. I started with a search for occupational therapists (OTs) sending out many emails to professionals listed on their association’s website. Receiving very few positive replies. Though some were promising.

I’ll do a similar search for carers. And speech therapists. Maybe there is someone out there looking for a job, Maybe someone from abroad would like to come to Dublin for a while? – Who knows…

It’ll have to be someone with an “old-fashioned type” of attitude and outlook, with a sense of service and responsibility, someone who’d understand Pádraig’s interests and shared them, with a good sense of humour and a caring heart.