Out.

Can’t believe it.

Back in UKE since 7am.

Will stay here with him for the next few days and nights.

It’ll take some time (and maybe some stitches on Monday) until we’ll know for sure but so far he can breathe ok with the hole in his neck closed of and the cannula removed. We didn’t expect that to happen at all. But we’re over the moon – and sooo tired.

So keep your fingers crossed, the candles burning, the prayers going, and your enthusiasm and energy floating up the stream. In the Dreamboat!

What happened today and how it all happened took my breath away. This has been one of the most amazing days of my life. If this all works out the way it looks, I’ll do something big. Any ideas?

Pádraig was in good form today. Of course, it’s all and always relative. I am sure he answered “Hallo” to me when I came in and after I had said ‘hallo’ to him. But then again, you can never be sure. Nothing is ever certain. Maybe it never was.

You have to look at the bright side. Of Life. And believe.

Two things, not directly to do with Pádraig’s situation, but connected to it, happened today.

One was that I found a concert on youtube. A tribute to Joni Mitchell. I was looking for and listened for a few minutes to one of the most beautiful albums ever recorded: Joni Mitchell’s “Ladies of the Canyon” – which will always remind me of a New Year’s Eve party in Dortmund, it’s a long story… but no-one wanted to listen to this new album I had bought just a few days ago (if you’re old enough, you probably know the feeling…). So I had to wait until mid-night when everybody had gone down onto the street to welcome the New Year with fireworks. Finally, I was on my own at this party, put on the record, and the volume to max. From the third floor, standing on the windows wide open looking down onto the street, I listened to Morning Morgantown, Big Yellow Taxi and Woodstock. – All of a sudden, I was not here, but there. For a moment. Full of hope. Strong. On my own. You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone… I wish I had a river I could skate away on… you turn me on, I’m a radio…. (To be honest, not much has changed since – I’m still listening to the music on my own:)

The other… I found a note Pádraig had written to me some time before my 50th birthday. In this note, handwritten and in German, he tells me that I was getting ‘old’ –  he put ‘alt’ in inverted commas, as in ‘old’ but not really ‘old’. He was being kind to me. So, as I was getting ‘old’ – close to 50 – he gave me some advice.

The advice was to hand in the job, buy the boat I always wanted to buy. and do what I always wanted to do before it was getting too late to ever do it: sail around the world. He had it all figured out. It would probably take a year. He was getting out of school, Laura could take some time off, Pat would get a sabbatical, Maria would be on her transition year. Someone would be able to sail away with me. Maybe all of us could go together on this sailing trip.

Of course, we never went, I never quit the job – though I managed to blow our family’s annual holiday budget sailing across from Halifax to Belfast and on to Dublin the year I turned 50. Years ago.

Today’s German Music Tip
Rio Reiser – Junimond – Live-Konzert 1990 in Stuttgart
Hab dich flussauf- und flußabwärts gesucht
What’s hot
Keep searching, keep traveling, make friends
What’s cold
To be sure
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Der Gender-Krampf verhunzt die deutsche Sprache

Orson Welles once said that “if you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story”.

What does that mean? How do you know when to stop the story? When are you happy enough to stop it?

Pádraig today had his biggest smile for a long time when Maria was talking to him. He so enjoyed listening to her talking about people, music, and life. How much he enjoys life. Normality.

Otherwise, all was quiet today. A normal day. For Pádraig. Eating. Drinking. Breathing. Going out. In the rain.

The new year has started. I am still planning. Wondering where the year will take us. Is it worth planning? Certainly not for a year.

But Socrates had a point – you could loose a lot of time fighting what exists when you’d be much better of building the new. An Saol on the Dreamboat. In 2015.

We won’t stop the story here. We’ll hang in. For the happy ending.

Today’s German Music Tip
Ulla Meinecke – Junimond (Abschied von Rio Reiser)
Rio Reiser was the singer of the German rock band ‘Ton, Steine, Scherben’, and died at age 46 in 1996.
What’s hot
Happy
What’s cold
Ending
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Keine Macht für Niemand!

Have you ever tried to write something about your life and the life of someone close to you every day? I’d never done anything like this before. When I started, I thought I’d do it for a few weeks, for a number of months max. until Pádraig would be better. Maybe not exactly like before the accident, but communicating with us and taken back at least some level of control over his life.

I would never have anticipated how long I’d be doing this. More than a year and a half.

You would probably never have anticipated that you’d still be going to the hospi-tales after so many months either.

I was going to ask when and where it’ll all end. I won’t. The day will come and when it’s there we’ll all know.

For the time being, I’ll keep writing. Into the New Year. Pádraig will make progress. Step by step. Bit by bit. And the hospi-tales will be coming out. Every night.

Today, I brought in the haircutter. Remember the haircutter? The one that you can use for designer haircuts at the back of somebody’s head. I resisted the temptation and, what is more surprising than that, there weren’t any mishaps either. We also washed Pádraig’s hair, something we should do more often, not just because he’s obviously worth it:), but also because we really need more practice to get through this a bit smoother. Because when we were finished the place was in a slight mess, none of it my fault, of course:), but we managed to get it all organised and back to ‘normal’ in no time.

So back to the New Year resolutions… have you got any?

Today’s German Music Tip
Andreas Bourani, Auf anderen Wegen
Du schlägst Wurzeln, ich muss fliegen
What’s hot
Haircuts
What’s cold
New Year’s resolutions
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Höa doch eimal mit diese Laberei auf!

No. Not Stallone. But Sylvester I.

He was the bishop of Rome up to 335, when he died.  One of the big things he did was to baptise Emperor Constantin the Great. In Germany though, he is not know for this and other great things he did in his time, but because ‘his’ day is the 31st of December. It’s Sylvester today, the last day of the year.

When I went to the supermarket this morning, a whole section looked like as if the Germans were getting ready for the next big war:

60 Schuss (shots), rockets by the dozen, 8 times canon fire, China bangers, 19 shot platoon, 25 shots – just fire once… and this is just a selection.

Last year, we were watching the fireworks from the window of a room in the ICU of the UKE. 6 months after the accident, Pádraig was again right on the edge.

Tonight, he had something to eat (very finely minced), and a drink of water. He was exercising on the viva la MOTOMed, sitting in his wheelchair while a ridiculous programme on Eurosport about the ‘best’ mishaps of 2014 was playing in the background. We were out on the roof garden, watching some early fireworks that were going off in the distance.

Next week, on Wednesday, Pádraig has another appointment in the UKE, this time in the ENT Polyclinic’s outpatient’s department to see whether they can remove his tracheostomy. If they think they can, he’ll get another appointment to come in for a few days. Fingers crossed.

Since this is the last day of the year, I want to thank you all for what you have done  to support Pádraig over the year. Without all the crazy (and the ‘regular’:) stuff you did, we would all have given up and packed it in. We didn’t and we won’t. Dreamboaters.

Thank you.

No late night car journey to a hospital this year to see how this routine operation had worked out. Pádraig is very stable tonight, his lungs are fine and he is getting better every day. It was a very different story this day last year.

Looking back to how it was then makes me think that we should be very thankful to all who contributed to his survival and recovery so far.

Thank you! You are my heroes.