Expectation is the mother of all frustration.
Antonio Banderas

The ancient Stoic philosophers believed that frustration is never caused by external events or things themselves, but rather by the inflated false impressions and expectations we permit ourselves to build up around them.

This is what happened to William ‘D-Fens’ Foster in the 1993 movie Falling Down. When he bought a Whammy Burger, he expected it to look like the ones on the nice glossy posters. At 3:24 in the clip below, he looses it. Taking the burger out of the box he shows it around and says:

This is what I’m talking about. Turn around. See what I mean? Can anybody tell me what is wrong with this picture? Anybody? Anybody at all? – Look at this sorry miserable squashed thing.

We all can identify with William (Michael Douglas). We have all been in a similar situation. When we were offered something very different from what we had expected. Indeed, Expectation is the mother of all frustration.

---

Last night, we didn’t go to a Whammy Burger place but to the Helix Theatre to see Coldplay be Candlelight.

Featuring a spectacular cast of world-class vocalists and an epic live band, prepare for total Paradise, as you experience Coldplay’s biggest hits, like never before! This incredible concert will take you on the Adventure Of A Lifetime.

It was a great evening. We met some friends who also had decided to be taken on the Adventure Of A Lifetime.

But – our experience was similar to Williams – the reality of the “product” didn’t quite match the glossy posters and over-the-top promises. We had expected something different.

It all looked, felt, and sounded like a hard-working English boy band trying to reproduce some of the best music ever written and performed by one of the world’s greatest bands. Most of the audience had a great time anyway, enjoying a couple of drinks in the process. Watching the audience was almost more entertaining than watching the lads dancing and singing on stage.

---

I had expected the Teach An Saol building project to be well advanced by now. I had expected politicians to keep their promises. The latest were that, following our meeting with the Tánaiste and the Minister for Disability, we would receive the promised written follow-up during the summer and have a follow-up meeting in September.

I was disappointed when that meeting was eventually scheduled for this past week, with no sign of the promised written response to our queries.

Then even that meeting was cancelled. A new date has been promised, but has yet to be provided.

The saddest aspect of this is that when I told people, they smiled cynically and asked: “What did you expect?”

This is where Antonio Banderas and the Stoics come in. Expectation is the mother of all frustration.

Perhaps the lesson is that we cannot allow our resolve to depend on others keeping their promises. We should expect them to honour their commitments. And continue to hold them to account when they don’t.

We just need to stay focused. Draw strength and resilience from our community. And keep going. Relentlessly.

You can do something today: Become a Friend of the An Saol Foundation—and invite 10 of your friends to do the same.

Friends of The An Saol Foundation