Tag Archives: #WeWouldRatherLive

I’ll give it some thought – Really?

17 Sunday May 2026

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Two men posing together for a photograph, smiling at the camera. The man on the left is wearing a casual outfit with a light jacket, while the man on the right is dressed in a formal suit and glasses. The background features the words 'RTÉ RADIO 1' on a light blue backdrop.

People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had a good laugh – perhaps more a really long, broad, and deep smile listening. “I’ll give it some thought.”

Bill Nighy was on the Brendan O’Connor Show in RTÉ Radio One last week. Like many of Brendan’s interviews, this one is worth listening back to. Especially the bit in the second half, when Nighy shared his memory about the time in his life when he tried to live without having an opinion – which, he admits, at times became quite irritating to other people.

While for him, “it was fun, it was really good fun. I didn’t last very long. I lasted a few weeks. I did it for various reasons. I got sick of the sound of my own voice. It was just hard having opinions.

You need a collection of stock phrases, like “I’ll give that some thought”, or “Leave that with me, I’m going to think about that”.

I had to smile because I heard echoes in my head. Echoes of conversations with people who I have met over the past years who seemed to be extremely sympathetic to our situation and that of all the other families who have become our friends.

I had to smile because, all of a sudden, I realised that statements I had interpreted as being supportive, in reality were no more than a lack of opinion; a lack of understanding; a lack of caring.

I listened to the interview having spent the best part of last week talking to each of the 16 ‘core’ families attending An Saol about their experience. An experience that they struggled to find words for. An experience thankfully beyond the imagination of anybody not directly affected.

Not having an opinion on injustice. Not having an opinion on what is right and what is wrong. Refusing moral judgment.

Supports the status quo.

A status quo that can be a death sentence for those who are dependent on change.

Like the three people below who were told that there was no hope. No case for trying. Just relax and keep yourself comfortable. No point in wasting any more precious resources on your hopeless situation. Prepare yourself for departure.

Screenshot

Well – they, and many others, are far from saying goodbye. In fact, they are improving beyond expectations and, most importantly, they are enjoying life. They’d rather live.

Where people suffer beyond description and where people needlessly die – sitting on the fence, not having an opinion, giving it some thought – amounts to complicity and moral abdication.

The moral weight of a moment falls not only on actors, but also on bystanders.

People must realise that their opinion of the world is a confession of character.

Every day, we see examples of extraordinary courage and determination.

Get inspired and follow their example: Move. Walk. – Don’t be a by-stander. Take a stand.

Love, Let Me Be Your Refuge

12 Sunday Apr 2026

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Chasing a dream, but I’m tired
If we never make it, at least we can say we died trying
(Dermot Kennedy, Refuge)

Don Quixote held on to his dreams and his ideals – even though most of the world saw them as unreal, unrealistic, fictional, even foolish. His statue together with that of his friend Sancho Panza on San Sebastián’s promenade reminded me of his story. As it was Easter, I also had to think of that other man who did what he thought was the right thing, even though it got him into deep trouble.

Back in Dublin, Dermot Kennedy’s new album The Weight of the Woods, hit No.1 on the Irish and UK album charts at the beginning of the month. Refuge is a song on that album that struck a chord.

I know the dark shows up more than we’d like
Carve it in stone, so the story survives
Try to stand tall, try to get you to smile
Fight off what’s sensible, say I’m invincible
It’s all a lie

Trust these words, my heart is true
Love, let me be your refuge

Darling, I’m shaking tonight
Chasing a dream, but I’m tired
If we never make it, at least we can say we died trying

Looking back to our trip to Spain’s northwest coast, Pádraig was not shaking, he was not tired, and he did more than just trying. He enjoyed the journey, the sea, and the incredibly creative sessions with Laura and Marcos.

When our friends in Élize in Torrelavega told me on the last day of this year’s visit that they would walk with Pádraig, I thought “ok, standing up and taking a few steps in the therapy room – that sounds like a good idea and something that might work”.

Pádraig always likes a challenge and our friends are so incredibly professional and creative that there was no doubt in my mind that they would manage, and that Pádraig was safe.

I had no idea that they would walk down the whole corridor with him.

It wasn’t perfect and there is, obviously, much room for improvement – but the sensation of being able to stand and move his feet and legs in such a purposeful way was sensational for Pádraig, he said.

As for myself. I sometimes do feel tired. Even desperate.

Most likely mirroring the way Don Quijote and his friend; the man in the middle east; Dermot Kennedy; or anybody else with a strong believe or love must feel like at times.

And that is ok.

As long as we don’t stop trying.

Whether we’ll ever make it or not.

Love, let me be your refuge.

Buddha on Patrick’s Day

15 Sunday Mar 2026

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A breakfast scene featuring a person in a wheelchair looking up, partially out of focus. In the foreground, there are plates of toast and a croissant, along with cups of coffee and glasses of water on a wooden table.

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Buddha

Whether the Buddha ever said or wrote these exact words has, apparently, not been confirmed. The idea, however, that anger and resentment harm the person who holds them, and not the ones they are directed to, reflects genuine Buddhist teaching.

Years ago, I wrote a blog every night. The family had gone to bed and I sat down at the kitchen table. Tonight the setting is similar.

What is different is that I have since learned more than I could ever have imagined. Mostly the hard way. Intellectually and emotionally.

I now know, for example, that I will not change the world. (At this point you are probably thinking: well, I could have told you that straight away, Reinhard, had you ever asked.)

I also know now that I won’t be able to change the health system. Nor the people working in it.

Both the world and society, and the health system and the people working in it, have made me angry. Actually, they have made me cry in despair. They have made me physically sick. They have caused me sleepless nights; an upset stomach; grey hair; and much more. But neither being angry, nor desperate with them made any difference, had ever any hope of instigating change.

There I was, for a long time: drinking poison and expecting the other person to die or at least the world to change. It’s a small miracle that this poison didn’t kill me.

I am now trying to be less angry. To really appreciate how lucky we are in more than one way. To value tremendously the support and friendship of so many people around us. To admire the people working in An Saol with such dedication when they could find a permanent and pensionable job as public servants somewhere else. To even more admire the people directly and indirectly affected by the traumatic experience of a severe Acquired Brain Injury who keep going, who cannot be stopped by anybody, who will never give up.

I am very far away from being able to completely have fully adopted the advice of the Buddha. But I am trying.

Not being angry means to have more energy for the good things.

Pádraig and us went to Dublin’s best value breakfast in Dunnes Stores on the top floor of the Ilac Centre this morning and had a brilliant breakfast.

Pádraig is showing the world that life is good in community.

It’s St Patrick’s Day Weekend. Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona daoibh.

After the big day we’ll get back to work making Teach An Saol a reality. Not in anger but with unmovable determination.