As I am getting older, there are things I never did and will never be able to do. There are things I did and will never be able to do again. I wonder – are there things I was never able to do before but am able to do now, as I am getting older?
Are these silly thoughts and questions? I mean, it’s something you could ask yourself when your 6 or 16 or 60, at any point in your life, really. There are kids who want to stay kids and there are teenagers who want to stay teenagers because they are afraid to loose what they’ve got.
There are few people who want to get older, the older they are the fewer there are.
There was a time in my life I could not wait to get older. I wanted to live independently. I wanted to be able to drive. I wanted to have girl friends. I wanted to pick my jobs. I wanted to start my own family. I wanted to retire. I wanted to do what I thought was the right thing to do.
Recently, my perspective on life and ageing has changed. Now, I don’t want to get older. Because I think getting older now implies that, in the not too distant future, I won’t be able to do what needs to be done but nobody else is doing.
Is it all in my head?
Pádraig is settling back into the routine here. Life is slightly more predictable here (but only slightly) and slightly less exciting. Today he wanted to listen to the ‘letters to the Pope’ published by the Irish Times on the occasion of the visit by Pope Francis to Ireland in a week and a bit. He didn’t want to go shopping, he didn’t want to go for a walk. More than anything else he wanted to find out about what is going on, about what keeps people’s minds and souls occupied.
Confirming what I have been thinking (and saying) for some time: Pádraig needs people to keep him in the picture, to keep him connected with the mood in society, with the people around him, with culture, business, art…
The sooner the better.