It wasn’t the visit to the brewhouse, nor was it the fabulous meal in Gerardi’s that Pádraig most appreciated and enjoyed during his trip to Boston and Cape Cod. It was, by far, the walk, the last mile, from Brewster Police Department to the spot of the accident.

I can’t believe the similarities between Eiderstedt (where we are now) and Cape Cod. Loads of dunes, loads of beaches, loads of sky. We walked the mile today to the Arche Noah, the restaurant my sister and her husband ran for the best part of 30 years, and which Pádraig wanted me to buy (!). What caught my eye were the tracks left by the planes in the sky – coming from different directions, taking different routes, all aiming at the same destination.

I don’t know why, but it made me think of our lives…

We had some time to talk about life. Pádraig was in good form and it was easy for him today to share some inside into his life. We have the impression that, at times, he is trying to be nice, not telling us things that might hurt or might be difficult for us to hear. So we made it clear that this was a really open conversation.

Pádraig gave yes and no, pick one from a list, and  1 to 5 scaled answers.

What does he miss most (from a list)? – Being able to communicate.

Does he miss his ‘old’ life? – A very long 5 on a scale from 1 (a bit) to 5 (very much).

Is he bored with us? – That was a clear yes and a 5 on a scale from 1 (a bit) to 5 (a lot).

It really brought home the message to me that it is absolutely crucial and important to try and figure out what Pádraig wants to do, how he feels, what he likes… not by us thinking about it and trying to figure it out, but by allowing Pádraig to tell us.

Under the bludgeonings of chance, his head is bloody, but unbowed. It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll. He is the master of his fate, he is the captain of his soul. A Dreamboater.

He merits and is
worth and has a
right to
all the help
we can provide.

But he’s the one choosing the direction. He’s the captain.