Sightseeing with my sister. Breakfast at Kilkenny’s. Looking at shops ’round Henry Street. Conversations not had in a long time. Tired tonight.

Remembering last night in Fagan’s, packed with people coming out of Croke Park. Having fun I felt completely unconnected with. Having it all so clear in my mind. All of a sudden. The road to Damaskus in Fagan’s.

No more wasting time. Focusing on life. On what is important. Something everyone should do. Just with more urgency in a case like mine.

Looking at this as a normal life is a ‘tool’, maybe even a kind of figure of speech, to explain, including to myself, the only way to deal with what is a very not-at-all normal life situation. When there ain’t as many options left, there has to be an even clearer focus on options that make sense, that have meaning, a purpose, a heart, love, compassion and zen.

No more getting distracted by noise, by worrying about things I won’t ever be able to change, no more despair about people who lost their way, no more sorrow about injustice, lack of understanding, lack of respect, lack of…

There won’t be anymore ‘lack of’, only the ‘road’ we’ll travel on, only the river we’ll go down in Pádraig’s Dreamboat Into the Wild. Together. In Company.