Tonight I just feel empty and tired. There must come a day when I’ll feel the ground under my feet again.

Earlier today, I took out a couple of hours and started to clean up my ‘home office’ in the attic where I hadn’t been for the best part of three years. It brought back the sense of un-connectedness. It’ll take weeks, if not months to get on top of papers, letters, and books just left there when we went off to Germany. Now ‘supplemented’ by stuff I picked up on the way, still in cloth bags, never looked at again.


A good friend of ours lost almost all of her belongings in a house fire late last year. The tremendous loss caused her huge difficulties. In my case, it felt like a house fire — all my stuff disappeared for almost three years. The difference is, all that stuff which I didn’t really need for quite a long time, is now back all of a sudden, and I haven’t found a way yet of dealing with it.

Would you throw it all out? All the ‘rubbish’ bringing back impossible memories?