You could look at it as an experiment. Or a game. Maybe, I should just think about it tomorrow, because if I think about it now, I’ll probably go crazy.

If it wasn’t for the Currywurst (and “Tara”).

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Take a given situation that is more or less balanced and is more or less functioning. Then, you introduce a disaster – something that radically shifts the balance. What is most likely to happen is that – although the balance has radically shifted – initially, the ‘players’ or ‘participants’ in this experiment will most likely try to hang on to what they know has been working for them up to now. The hope is that this is just a brief interruption and that they will be able to return to the previous status quo if they only just managed to get over this ‘hump’ or ‘blip’.

Take the financial crisis: a lot of people believe that if we just managed to tighten the belt for a few years, that this will get us over the crisis, and that then we will be able to continue with the financial, political, and societal system we had prior to the crisis. The new Greek government seem to be the only once to tell call the French and German bankers by their names, thus taking away their magic – just as happened to Rumpelstilzchen.

I have been thinking of my own personal situation and was wondering when and if I will ever manage to find a new balance in my life for myself and for the rest of us. It’s like as if someone kept turning up the heat all the time and I kept opening the windows. Or: as if my boat was leaking not in one but in several places and I was trying to keep the water out by kind-of fixing the leaks, with new leaks appearing constantly left, right and centre. For how long will this work?

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We had a wonderful evening with Pádraig. Talking, chatting away, doing a few exercises, eating a little. And there was another first: Currywurst. He loved it. Almost as much as the strawberries earlier on. Of course, the food is all minced, liquidised. But other than that, this is ordinary food, with ordinary taste. Everything, however, else was extra-ordinary, still is extra-ordinary. So extra-ordinary, in fact, that it was, is hard to take. I am sure that when we look back at these days in years to come, in “Tara”, we’ll see the time as so intense that we will wonder how we survived it.

It made me think of Scarlet in Gone with the Wind: “Oh, I can’t think about this now! I’ll go crazy if I do! I’ll think about it tomorrow. But I must think about it. I must think about it. What is there to do? What is there that matters? Tara! Home. I’ll go home. And I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all… tomorrow is another day!