Are you interested in diversity? Cultural differences? Alterity?
It’s easy and straight forward when they are big. The differences, I mean.
It’s tricky, when they are small. So small that you think there ain’t any.
So on the surface, the Irish and the Germans are pretty similar. Ok, Germans don’t have a sense of humour (or their very own one), they don’t buy rounds, they have ID cards, and their police force is armed. Irish buses are never on time, people cross the road whenever they want to (rather than waiting for the green man), and they insist in driving on the wrong side of the road. – But none of that is substantial. One would think.
There is another difference: Irish stop celebrating their birthday once they’re 21, Germans make a big deal out of any of their birthdays.
Today I had a sad day. I thought: all what I had planned, all what I had thought I would be doing, everything I had imagined just evaporated that day in June. None of what is going on in my life, in our lives, is anywhere near of that I could have imagined in my strangest dreams. I’m now an expert carer. I have learnt about hospital care in three different countries. I’m an expert (well…) in neurological rehabilitation. I know more than some of the experts about wheelchairs, lifters, beds, MOTOMeds, and many other “Hilfsmittel” that are essential for the care of someone who cannot look after themselves. I know where the money goes, where it is spent, where it is not spent, what it all costs, and why people get involved in care. None of that was even on my radar less than two years ago.
More. I thought I could do whatever I wanted to do. I thought I could influence the way the world goes, the way people act, the way we deal with each other. Now I know what it feels like to be told what to do, what is good and what is bad, what it feels to be at the mercy of others. So vulnerable, so raw, so desperate at times.
My sister and brother in-law were here earlier for a few hours. But now, I’m here with Pádraig alone celebrating my birthday. A big deal for a German, those birthdays. And Pádraig and I have never been closer to each other before. The most beautiful birthday present. This feeling. This connectedness. This understanding.
Hospi-Tales 
Reinhard, Alles Gute und Liebe zum Geburtstag. It’s a tough time you are all having and it must be strange for you and Pádraig to be ‘home alone’ on this day but people all around the world are wishing you both happiness, love and support today and every day. Fuehl Dich umarmt- not just by me- you hardly know me- but by all those who care- and there are a lot of us out there- even when we’re silent!
Danke, Eithne. I kinda felt that virtual global hug last night! And I felt a new different type of happiness… Thank you for your Umarmung and care! What would we do without it!
Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag Reinhard. Alles Gute aus Dublin!
Ganz, ganz herzlichen Dank!
A very Happy Birthday. You may not realise it, but you do influence people … people who meet you and the readers of your blog to start with. A birthday can be a time for reflection. I was glad this post ended on an upbeat note. With every good wish.
Thank you so much – it is amazing to think that we all connect so well over a thousand miles, isn’t it?
P.S.
On a lighthearted note re the inevitable tendency to reflect (too?) critically on birthdays, I can remember back in the 1970s on a wet day, 5 March, watching my teenaged sister staring out the window in a very pensive mood:
E : What’s wrong , Maeve?
M; I was just thinking- 15 years of age and what have I achieved?
(And she was deadly serious!)
Hope it makes you smile….:-)
It did, Eithne:) Thank you!
Celebrating a birthday at every age is a great idea. We Irish can learn that from the Germans. Now what should they learn from us, Reinhard?
Have a lovely evening with Padraig on this lovely day.
What should the Germans learn from the Irish, Grainne? Where to start? I haven’t met people as creative, wild, independent, caring, thoughtful,… as my Irish family and friends anywhere. Not even in Germany:)
Lá breithe suimneach dhuit a Reinhard. Your blog is such an inspiration to all of us that that read it all the time. You are a huge strength to all of us, my son Ciarán is 15 today and shares his breithlá with a very inspirational person. We all speak about Padraig both at home , and with my wonderful scolairí in class all the time , everyone loves to hear about Padraig and how he is doing. Lean leis an obair iontach, Úna Ní C.
Go raibh maith agat, Úna. Don’t know what to say… Say a late Lá breithe suimneach dhuit to Ciarán that he may grow up to become a wonderful young man! And, keep up the good work with your scolairí!
Thinking if you Reinhard and wishing you Glückwünsche on this special day. You have and are achieving so much more than you can imagine!
Thank you, Veronica. There was a time when I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be *that* old, and – I always wanted to change the world (never wanted to start small:) but never made any difference… if anyone is making any difference, I think it’s Pádraig!
Rejoice in each other, father and son. Ye are a beacon to the World and you are doing right. Happy Birthday Reinhard my friend, and ‘Hi!’ to our Pádraig!
Seos
Thank you, Seos! But – there is only one beacon and it’s the one made of all the people with a good heart and soul looking out for each other!
Happy Birthday, Reinhard. When customers in my shop mention that one parent is German and one Irish…I always playfully. ask if both are still living or if one killed the other! I find German and Irish character traits to be so vastly different around time/punctuality, detail and humor, that it’s hard to imagine the attraction between representatives of each! I hope this birthday is one you will hold dear forever, different though it may be than those that came before it.
Thank you, Susan! It’s the differences that you hold dear:) That is why you are right: I will hold yesterday in my memory as one that was very special. – While there are certain things we find difficult to do together (like cooking or driving:) life would not be very much more difficult, if not impossible, for me without Pat: I would just be ‘German’:)
Herzlichen Glückwunsch nachträglich. Ich war gestern, an deinem Geburtstag, bei unserer Tante in Bremen, die exakt 90 Jahre alt wurde, um ihr zur Hand zu gehen, falls jemand von der Kirche oder Stadt vorbei kommt. Runde Geburtstage sind wirklich bei uns wichtig, aber da hast du ja noch ein paar Jährchen vor dir. Alles Liebe.
Happy belated birthday, Reinhard! (In the US we also celebrate birthdays at any age. It’s important to have an excuse to celebrate life, friends, family and being alive. 🙂 )
When life changes (hijacks?) our plans, as I’ve experienced with my illness, it’s hard not to occasionally think back to our old plans and to mourn the path closed to us… sort of like it is with age, when we realize that our choices aren’t infinite and perhaps we’ll never get to some of those life-long dreams that were always available ‘in the future.’
I have found, for myself (and it sounds like you, too), the new situation – whilst not ideal – has much to teach us. Has a way of showing us what really matters. How little things we barely noticed when we were bustling away in our old life, can now be the source of great joy and connection with others.
Padraig has inspired so many of us, but don’t minimize how much *you* have, too. You are the one opening your thoughts and feelings to all of us out here in the ethers and thousands of miles away. It would be totally understandable if you and Pat just focused on the considerable challenges of your new life, but you care so much about others that you find additional energy to fight to help others in the situation by improving the system. I find you, your family, your blog, and Padraig’s indomitable spirit inspiring on so many levels!
Hope you had a good birthday with your family and then on your evening alone with Padraig and the remarkable bond you have.
Thank you, Diane! Well – seems not all is lost in the US:)! I’m with you: it is important to have excuses to celebrate!
I remember endless discussions in seminars and meetings at university (in the 70s and early 80s!) about what made us who we are: was it the ‘system’ and society that determined that, or was it up to us to decide where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do? Being a bit older know, I wonder why no-one ever discussed or wrote about the possibility that “life” could just decide to take over, hijacking (I like that word in this context) your plans and make them ‘Makulatur’.
Nobody teaches you, well: nobody taught me, how to deal with such a situation: when your life is taken over and is out of your own control (which is an illusion anyways).
So here we are – all souls of the one kind, bodiless in the ethers, exchanging, supporting, sharing, creating a reality that will – when it’ll leave the ethers and get transformed into a physical presence – move even more people! And you are as much part of that as I am, as Pádraig is, as our family, friends and companions are! (My guess is you knew that already:)
You are an amazing father to padraig happy birthday mary geran
Amazing? I feel completely recked, Mary. But, as any good coach knows, you have to push yourself hard to achieve something 🙂 We’re going for the next BP!