Sometimes I think I’m only writing about the good things that are happening.
About how well Pádraig is doing. The improvements he’s making. The way he really tries so hard. The way he doesn’t let all those frustrating moments, when things don’t quite work out the way he would want them to work out, get into his way. About his incredible will-power to keep going in the toughest of all times for him. The ripples, or rather giant waves he’s creating from his hospital bed. Bringing people together who haven’t met for ages. Getting people to do things they never thought they were able to do. Creating and firming up friendships that will last forever. Having people opening up their hearts and show incredible solidarity and support.
Sometimes I wonder whether that is a good thing. Because life isn’t really like that. Good. At least not all the time. – So what to do when bad things happen?
On the other hand, some people believe that your mind and your attitude can change the way you are and the way you feel, as in: you feel good if you really want to, if you focus on the positive aspects of what is going on.
Pádraig has a quote pinned up on the wall of his room at home, it’s from a famous Irishman, who wasn’t always treated that well himself, who quotes Lord Darlington in Lady Windermere’s Fan, A Play About a Good Woman, first produced 22 February 1892 in London, as saying:
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Being German and all (although I’ve started to doubt that too:) being positive and joyful and funny doesn’t really come natural. But – I’ll keep thinking about this…. Germans are good at thinking.
Talking about good news: Pádraig today moved his head. By himself. Which is really good. Not just because every movement he initiates wilfully himself is absolutely brilliant, but also because head control is great for breathing too. The more the better. And the better he will manage without the tracheostomy. Which is the first of the three main things we would like to get rid of.
So it looks like as if the good news will keep coming.
PS: I went away with Maria for a couple of days. We came back tonight to a Hamburg covered in snow. It was really nice to have spent that time with her and I’m sure I won’t ever forget those days with her. I’m sure she won’t either:)