Sometimes. Sometimes the days are so full that at the end of the day I wonder, in all honesty, whether it was just one, or whether it was two days that just past. There are so many people, so many places, so many things, that I wonder, sometimes, how they all could have possibly fit in to the one 24 hours that just past.
Pádraig was almost back to where he had been before the infection. Heartbeat, temperature, oxygen, all back to (almost) normal level. It’s really reassuring that the nurse who is looking after him these days really knows him well and knows us. Life could be much easier if we could rely on everybody as well as we can rely on her.
We had two visits today. One from a residence who wanted to see whether Pádraig could be admitted. He could. The other visit was from a Carer who wanted to see whether he could take Pádraig on when he leaves the hospital in January and moves in with us. He could. Now we just have to see how things are going to work out.
Pat got back today. How brilliant is that!? It’s when she is away that I realise how much I want to tell her every day, ask her, get her opinion, share with her what is going on. There’ll be another few weeks and then the travel back and forth will slow down a little.
It’s Halloween night today. In Hamburg. Talk about globalisation. It’s also Friday night. Maria was on her way to the Oireachtas tonight when I talked to her. Life goes on. Although I still wonder how this is possible.
I remember when I heard of Pádraig’s accident, when the reality slowly sunk in, I thought of Auden’s poem “Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone…’ the world had just stopped turning, for me. For me. For the rest of the world not much had changed.
There are friends and family for whom the world hasn’t stopped. They deal with the reality of what has happened much better. And they take me along.
“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.”
The reality is: there is no secure future. Never. The reality is: we all walk Into the Wild.