Totally confused.

It was obvious when I came to Ireland in the eighties. I was German and this was a different country with different customs, people had a different way to deal with each other, and they didn’t stop asking me whether I liked it in Ireland (sometimes, people still ask me, and how do you like it here?:). And back then, when I told my Irish family that in Germany police was wearing pistols and everybody had an ID that they had to carry with them all the time by law, they looked at each other and said something that sounded like ‘police state’. But I was in a new country and I was still learning English and didn’t stop wondering about my new country.

It was a bit less obvious when we brought Pádraig to Germany and (re-)discovered what it means, in Germany, to rent an apartment, to buy a mobile phone contract, to make sure that there is no condensation on the windows (‘lüften, lüften, lüften’). I thought I was German, but looked at what was going on with my Irish eyes (often smiling at the German way of doing things).

It was completely messed up, durcheinander,  when I was in Ireland this week. What is the ‘other’ and what is ‘mine’? I kept taking pictures: at the airport where Connect Ireland in an attempt to lure new foreign investment to the country was trying to connect JFK, Enda Kenny, and Martin Sheen; then, when I got to my Aer Lingus flight, it all felt and looked like as if it was Ryanair in the old days: every bag was measured and checked for the maximum 10kg weight; and on a German magazine they were making fun of Germany’s most treasured seasonal symbol, Oh Tannenbaum, the christmas tree…. Is it me who is durcheinander or is someone, some dark force, trying to mess with me. All of a sudden, all was foreign, all was the ‘other’.

To be back with Pádraig was good. And then: he finished a huge portion of pureed apple with chocolate yoghurt, no bother. It was so good that we’ll try some ‘normal’ pureed food at noon, and the pureed apple in the afternoon tomorrow. It would be brilliant to get him back eating more regularly and, eventually, to get rid of the tube feed, the PEG.

And, Pádraig managed to get into the wheelchair for the first time after his operation. For just for a bit more than two hours. It was great. He must have felt really good. And now, after the operation, he doesn’t need a helmet anymore either. A whole new feeling.

Today’s German Music Tip
O Tannenbaum without and O Tannenbaum with, subtitles
What’s hot
‘Otherness’
What’s cold
Confusion about the ‘otherness’
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
O Tannenbaum