It was vanilla pudding today. A whole tub of it! Just over six hours on the speech valve. Four hours in the wheel chair. A ‘Mentalist’ to round off the day.

Pádraig has this ‘wall’ of pictures in his room, mostly on posters his friends put together right after the accident when he was still in Cape Cod. They show the incarnation of happiness: a ‘band of friends’, memories of happy days amongst young, energetic, fun-loving people. These pictures have been with Pádraig for the best part of a year now. There is a poster that was in his room in the ICU in Cape Cod Hospital – his friends put it together to bring some hope and colour into his life. Many, many people have looked at these pictures over the months to get an idea of who Pádraig is, what he was up to, who his friends are. At the beginning, I could hardly recognise his friends on the pictures, now not only do I recognise them, I have met and got to know a lot of them as they were visiting Pádraig, swimming around the country in two days, organising concerts, quizzes, fundraisers…

Over the past weeks, I have been looking less frequently at these pictures. They make me compare what was and what could have been with what is. Rather than bringing happy memories and wanting me to just turn back the clock, they make me cry. – Today, I showed Pádraig a beautiful hand-crafted photo album with – wait for it! – REAL! printed copies of pictures in it!!! Pictures of his four years in Trinity and the Conradh, with his friends. Pure bliss, anything anybody ever wanted: friends to die for. When he had finished his studies and before he went traveling to the USA, he had told us about his sadness, on one hand, to leave behind what must have been the four happiest years of his life. He loved the people he had been with so much and had been so happy in their company that he was afraid they were going to disappear from his life. (On the other hand, of course, he *is* a man who loves adventures, new worlds to explore – and found it so difficult to make up his mind on what to do next: so many open doors, so many opportunities.)

The album I showed to him is one of the most beautiful albums ever, but – it is so sad full of happy memories.

The memories we are creating now (and most of the time we don’t even realise that this is what we are doing) are most of the time not as happy as the old ones. But I am sure that, one day, we will look at these past months of tears, disasters, near death experiences, absolute and utter desperation – an endless and unbelievable stream of visitors – and then, glimpses of hope and real super novas: yes/no responses, controlled movements, eating ice-cream! And above all: his friends visiting, those incredible concerts that lifted off the roof of the buildings they were held in; quizzes with so many people that tables had to be put out in the corridor; events in villages that attracted nearly half the population (in numbers); schools in Dublin and Donegal and other parts of the country where the students organised fundraisers and art projects; huge big crazy swims by (with all due respect:) middle-aged mad women some of whom couldn’t even swim before entering the one-mile-race, and by completely nuts-gone youngsters jumping into the freezing cold waters that – thanks God! – surround Ireland, in every county with a beach; friends running races and climbing mountains; pipes and guitars being played in a Hamburg high-dependency unit; the Dream Boat project: Ireland’s summer hit of 2014; and the list goes on….

While the Taoiseach is trying to get the concerts of an ageing country singer going in Croke Part (I ask you, why did he not just Ring Joe to fix this debacle?).  While his government has withdrawn the core funding of Ireland’s Neurological Alliance and many of its nonprofit members. While senior neuro and rehab consultants are publicly saying that young people with severe brain injuries offer a ‘bad return on investment’ without showing even a hint of shame on their faces of themselves. While Irish people have to leave the country not just to seek a decent job, but also to seek the care and therapy they need so desperately. While, sadly, reality again proofs that it will never be beaten by comedy. While all this is going on, the people of Ireland are doing their own ‘thing’. They are (literally) sick and tired of empty promises and strategic non-decisions. They’ve had it with non-functioning systems that take forever to deliver what is so obviously and so badly needed for the most vulnerable of the society they live in.

They take ‘things’ into their own hands. They are enthusiastic, motivated, full of energy, and they know they can move mountains. They can reach for the stars and touch them. They know what is right, they know what is wrong. They don’t need no strategy papers. They already know.

For an example – see below.

—————-ENGLISH BELOW——————————–

Scéalín le sibh a choinneáil ar an eolas faoin amhrán.

Maith sibh as ucht bhur gcabhair go léir! Tá sibh savage!

Tá smaoineamh againn cúpla amhrán eile a chur ar an dlúthdiosca, agus albaim ceart a dhéanamh as! Mar sin bheadh an t-amhrán, dar ndóigh, mar príomh-amhrán / siongail… ach bheadh níos mó air… níos mó “bang for your buck” mar a dheirfeá. Síleann muid go mbeadh daoine sásta praghas ceart albaim (10 / 15) a íoch as… agus bheadh sé just níos deise mar pacáiste.

Cinneál plean sealadach againn go mbeadh muid in ann na hamhrán a chualamar ar an Oíche álainn Cheoil do Phádraig a chur air. Ciallaíonn sé sin go mbeadh lá eile taifead ag teastáil (thart ar an 4ú, 5ú nó 6ú Lúnasa) le na ceoilteoirí sin ag teacht isteach (taifead i bhfad níos éasca ná an dhá lá eile a chaitheamar!)

Ansin bheadh an t-albaim réidh le seoladh ag deireadh mí Lúnasa… Cóisir ulmhór… b’fhéidir ar bád ceart ar an Life nó rud éigin. (Mar eolas bhí smaoineamh eile ag Jen seoladh eile a dhéanamh [cinneál “ath-sheoladh”] ag an Oireachtas i gCill Áirne!).

Idir seo agus sin, tá cúpla rud ag teastáil uainn.

1. Ealaín . Seolagaí isteach pictúirí / ealaín don chlúdach. Sabhlaigh d’ealaín fhéin ar chlúdach an albaim is fearr riamh! Tá na híomhá seo ag teastáil uainn go luath (tógann dearadh dhiosca tamaill).. so bígí ag tarraingt / paenteaíl!
2. Ceolteoirí – bhfuil sibh saor thart ar an 4ú / 5ú / 6ú Lúnasa? Claire and Aisling. Lauren Ní Chasaide. Marcus Mac Conghail. John Flynn. Seán and Oisín. Seán Oisín Gabo Andrew. The Lonergans and Flynn
3. Smaointí don seoladh – Ar bád? Smaointí eile?
4. Airgead: Tá thart ar 1550 baillithe againn (940 ar an Oíche… agus cúpla deonachán eile) Tá 720 caite cheanna féin ar Mark (innealtóir) agus an dhá studio (Bow Lane agus Sonic Studio). Mar sin, tá 830 againn fós. Le dlúthdhiosca a phriontál agus cúpla lá eile sa studio agus lá nó dhó meascán eile tá seans maith go mbeidh beaganín níos mó airgead uainn (nílim fhéin cinnte cé mhéid ach is dóigh go mbeidh figure crinn agam daoibh i gceann cúpla lá) … níl morán eile ag teastáil – b’fhéidir 500. Más rud é go dtugann muid go léir thart ar 20 euro, bheadh muid clúdathaithe go maith sílim. Ag an céad crinniú, nuair a phléamar seo, bhí daoine toilteanach go leor méid mar seo a íoch. An bhfuil sibh fós in ann é seo a dhéanamh? Is fiú é, síleann muid, le go mbeidh “record” níos mó / deise / fear againn. D’fhéadfainn airgead a bhailiú ar lá éigin i gceann cúpla seachtain. Just buail isteach chuig an Conradh. Tabharfaidh mé dáta cruinn daoibh i gceann cúpla lá nuair atá an scéal airgid níos fearr againn / bhur feedback againn.
5. Bígí ag faire ar bhur rpost le go mbeidh sibh in ann choinneáil suas chun dáta. Seans go mbeidh crinniú amháin eile le bhur dtuairimí / airgead a bhailiú i gceann seachtain nó dhó.

Tá an tionscnamh ag fás. Tá an t-amhrán beagnach réidh. Go raibh míle maith agaibh as ucht bhur obair dian go fóill.. Is fiú é. I gcónaí. Pádraig Abú.

Grá Mór
Andrew

——————————————————————– English —————————————————————————–

Folks,

A wee update on the progress of the song, so far.

Everything is going well. You absolutely played and sang out of your skins in the studio.

We have had an idea… We think it would be nice to record a few more songs and make a proper album out of it! The Dream-Boat would, obviously, be the main song / single… But the record itself would have more on it…. a bit more “bang for your buck” as they say. We think that people would be happier to pay 10 / 15 for a proper record with a few tracks on it… and it would just be nicer as a package.

We have a sort of provisional plan worked out . We were thinking it’d be nice to put a few of the songs from the Big Music night for Pádraig on the record. That would mean another day / maybe two of recording (on about the 4th 5th or 6th of August). Although this recording would be far far easier than the last two days. And only the few musicians would need to come in.

Then, the album would be ready to launch at the end of August… A massive party would be needed, obviously, .. perhaps on a boat on the Liffey or something that would cause a stir. (As another point of information, Jen had the idea of launching it [we could do a “relaunch” or something] at the Oireachtas in Killarney)

Between now and then, though, we would ask you to consider a couple of points

1. Art. Send in your pictures or ideas for cover art for the actual discs. Imagine your own art on the cover of the best album of all time! We need these images soon (the design process takes a while.. thanks to Brian Giles who has agreed to do it for us).. so get painting / drawing etc. etc.
2. Musicians… Are ye free about the 4th 5th or 6th of August? Claire and Aisling . Lauren Ní Chasaide. Marcus Mac Conghail. John Flynn. Seán and Oisín. Seán Oisín Gabo Andrew. The Lonergans and Flynn
3. Ideas for the Launch?.. a boat perhaps? Other wacky ideas, anyone?
4. Money. We have about 1550 at our disposal (940 gathered on the Big Music Night Síobhra organised.. and then there have been a couple of other kind donations). We have already spent 720 on Mark, the engineer and saint, and the two studios (Bow Lane and Sonic Studios). So, we have 830 still. To print CDs, and a couple more days in the studio and mixing and mastering days, there is a good chance that we will need a little more (I personally am not entirely sure of this exact figure.. but I will be able to tell you with more precision in a couple of days)… not much more, but probably around 500. If we were all to give about 20 euro, we would be covered. At the first meeting, when we discussed doing this, people seemed pretty happy to do this. Are you still okay with doing this? It’ll be worth it for a bigger, better, rounded record that we can sell a better price. I could collect money some day in the next couple of weeks. Just bang into the Conradh and I’ll be there. I’ll give a date in the next few days when I know the whole money situation better / have your own feedback.
5. Keep an eye on your emails so that you can keep up to date. There is a chance that we will have another meeting in a week or so to collect money / gather your ideas / talk about launching it… hype etc.

The project is growing. The song is almost ready. Thank you all so much for your hard work and patience, so far. It is worth it. It always is. Up Pádraig!

Lots of Love,
Andrew

================

PS: Just heard the Brooks concerts won’t go ahead.

 

Tonight’s the night. The streets will be empty, Deutschland will not except anything but this trophy tonight.

Pádraig will be asleep and we’ll tell him tomorrow how it all turned out. It was a real quiet day today – but we managed again (like yesterday) to lift Pádraig into his wheelchair with the help of his nurse. Tomorrow will be the first of a three-day ‘course’ in moving Pádraig out of his bed into the wheelchair (and back) which his therapists have organised for us. What we hope for is that we will be able to help with the ‘routine’ work so that the therapists can concentrate on the advanced work.

Last week, when I was in Ireland, I had a meeting with the Neurological Alliance of Ireland (NAI) and Headway. I also tried to meet up with ABI Ireland again but that did not work out this time. I presented the idea of An Saol to them, asked them whether they felt it was necessary to establish it as a facility for young people with severe brain injuries, where they could receive appropriate care and therapy – instead of being ‘kept’ in an acute hospital or a nursing home. They all enthusiastically agreed that An Saol is necessary and they all promised their enthusiastic support.

I think that even Enda Kenny, our Taoiseach (prime minister) will agree. I just double-checked the letter he sent us earlier this year. There, he said that,

Weltmeisterschaft, WM: The second last day. The second last match. What really counts, however, is not today – it’s tomorrow. Right?

I really had missed Pádraig over the past few days. And he had too. There was a bit of a smile on his face when I went back into his room and said ‘hello’. I had missed the chocolate pudding, the ice-cream and the sitting up on the bed-side (helped by his therapists and nurses). I wished he could have told me how that went for him, what it felt like having these explosions of taste in his mouth. What it felt like to sit when he was still not able to control his body. What does it feel like when people go away, come back, tell him that his friends were sending their love, that Dublin hasn’t really changed that much, the town and its people he loves so much.

I am exhausted and tired and disoriented. I had bought noodles in Dublin that I was looking for in Hamburg today, that I wanted to prepare for lunch when I realised that I was in Hamburg, the noodles in Dublin. I opened the Ferrari-red-Picanto and was looking for the steering wheel on the right hand side, and – having found the steering wheel on the left – I drove on the left out of our little street.

I am missing the view down from Mountjoy Square onto the Talbot Street junction, the green light for cars, and hundreds of people crossing the street despite of the little red man telling people that it’s the cars turn. So what!? My Irish heart was jumping for joy at this little sign of insubordination, my German head was asking whether this was a collective suicide attempt by the Irish!!??

Last day in Dublin. Early start tomorrow morning. I missed all the excitement: the chocolate pudding, the ice-cream, the sitting on the side of the bed. I am telling myself that I can live with that, because this is still just the beginning. On a good day, when Pádraig has the speech valve on, he checks out his vocal chords – probably wondering about where they had been over the past year. It’s not speech, far from it still, but sounds he is experimenting with. He is also repeating sounds, or rather still trying to repeats sounds like an ‘ah’, not always very clear, but clearly as a reaction of a request. Think back a few months – all of the things, the ‘first’, that have been happening we were, in the best of cases, dreaming of. And now they are a reality.

I am sure that Pádraig will be developing all of his new found skills to a much higher level. What he needs is the right support in the right atmosphere, and lots of will-power.

Today, he had one of his self-determined resting days. He was a bit tired and slept a lot. And just as I am writing it: think about it, Pádraig slept! Well, he slept because he can also be wide awake. Also something we needed a lot of faith to believe in it ever happening again.

Wo ein Wille ist, da ist auch ein Weg!

Can’t wait to get back to see him.

You all knew about today’s ice-cream. So, what’s new? – There was something. Something happened. But – I’m going to keep you in suspense. Yes, I know it’s not fair, but then – what’s fair in life?

This being summer and Hamburg being really hot these days, Pádraig got lucky and the speech therapists kept their word (got that? speech… word…:). They started a little ice-cream parlour in his room and spoon-fed Pádraig green ice-cream: as green as the shamrocks on his window, still hanging in there from Patrick’s Day. And he loved it!

Then came the real surprise (you’ll remember, we knew since yesterday that today was going to be ice-cream day, so no surprises here)! When Pat came back into his room, she found four really exhausted-looking people. Pádraig and three therapists/nurses. They had actually got Pádraig to sit on the side of his bed, with his feet pressed against the floor! Another first (has anyone counted the amount of stuff Pádraig has started to do for the first time again?) Think about it: he had not sat (without support) for more than a year

This afternoon, i met with the NAI and with Headway – both promised their help, anything they could do, for An Saol. It is slowly but surely gaining momentum!!!

 

It was too much to expect, I guess, to have two good matches on two consecutive nights. This doesn’t look like soccer to me, there is no elegance, no genius, but a lot of really hard body work, very hard tackles. And no scores. In 90 minutes!

Pádraig had his total of six hours on the speech valve and he managing that superbly. Who would have thought this just a month or two ago! And today, he did much better than that: today, he had eight or nine spoon full of chocolate pudding.

And, as it is terribly hot in Hamburg, the plan is to continue with ice-cream tomorrow. There won’t be a choice of flavours, they’ll be pre-determined to stay in the whole frame-of-mind of winning:)

Can you imagine that: from nothing for a year, to semolina, followed by chocolate pudding, and then ice-cream – all within just about a week! I know, eating a pudding or even an ice-cream… what’s the big deal? But – if you haven’t eaten a thing, nothing at all at all at all, for more than a year, to be able to get all these sensation into your mouth must be tremendous.

Went out into the back garden this afternoon, back in Dublin. The hammocks are still hanging there, and Pádraig was ‘hanging out’ there, planning his next adventure, chilling. His favourite place in the garden. He was there, because without him none of this makes any sense. Whatsoever.

Off to Limerick in the morning, meeting with the NAI later on to plan An Saol.

Whoever was walking the streets with a German flag on their shoulders, never mind one painted on their cheek, was definitely and without a doubt a neo-nazi. Who, in their right mind, would ever be proud again to be a German and wave the German flag to show it? “Die Ewig Gestrigen” we called them. People who were still dreaming of the big Germany, the one that had sent most of Europe and a good part of the rest of the world into the abyss. When I went on what would nowadays be called an ‘Erasmus’ to Spain, and my Spanish friends were telling me how organised and disciplined (in a good way) Germans were, I always said that it only appeared like that from the outside and that every country and every culture had their strengths and weaknesses. (It was still a ‘funny’ feeling to be caught up one day in Madrid in a huge demonstration commemorating the death of the Caudillo, driving this German registered VW beetle, and all the fascists ‘welcoming’ their German ‘supporters’ by beeping their horns and waving us on.)

But – things change, a new generation has a different view of history, and being proud of being German with flags on your windows, your car mirrors, your t-shirt, and – yes – on your cheek, is creating, again, this sense of belonging, and a sense of being proud of your country, even if it is Germany.

Today is a big day in Germany. There won’t be night shifts in many factories as people will get together and watch the match of all matches, the real word cup final, the epic between the host country Brazil and the all-time favourites Germany. It doesn’t really matter who is going to loose – it’s going to be a major disaster anyways.

In Dublin, we hear that people are really really really excited about these concerts – some saying that they want them all, some saying they want none of them. They don’t know that the real, the authentic, the biggest hit this summer will not be one about “If Tomorrow Never Comes” – to the contrary: it’ll be one about the power of dreams, about believe in yourself and what you can achieve, about a sign of things to come, with loads of people, loads of them, having some ‘serious’ fun!

The Dream Boat is getting ready. No official recording available yet, but a bit of the ‘Making of…’, a sneak preview of the song in the Conradh, can be watched on youtube already.

When we arrived at the hospital today, Pádraig was sitting in his wheelchair and the occupational therapist and physio were just about to leave. Everybody is really happy with the progress Pádraig is making. He has no problem using the speech valve for up to six hours now, three in the morning and three in the afternoon. He manages without a problem to sit for about four hours a day in the wheelchair. And he managed to cycle so fast on the MOTOMed-Viva2 on one of his Tour d’Schön races that it blew a fuse and had to be withdrawn from any races until further notice.

Tonight, we’re getting ready to take down the German flags in Pádraig’s room. But, ‘der Ball ist rund’ and anything can happen! Sure, we all know this – anything!

 

 

 

Hamburg. There is no city I’ve been in where there’re more really expensive cars driven by people who obviously never earned enough money to buy those cars. Maybe it’s all legit, but those guys are in their twenties, wear dark glassed and dark suits, and they’re just to über-cool to have earned their money in an office job. U just couldn’t picture them in an ordinary 9-5. And even if you could, those jobs would not pay for them cars! So, what’s the secret?

We continued to lend a helping hand to the carers: over time, I could see us getting really well accustomed and able to make Pádraig comfortable.

There was another first today: we first thought it might be a “Krampf”. Then, Pat asked him to relax, and he did. We asked him three times if he wanted to do it again, and he did. What was it? Simple, easy – for any of us. For Pádraig a huge, huge effort: he moved his whole right leg up, and – when we asked him – down again. Up. And back down. And a third time. Wahnsinn! A sign of things to come!

What’s the secret!?

Under different circumstances you’d call this an ordinary day. Wheelchair, speech valve (x2), all going well. Nothing really that special. Just another day. Sun-day. Literally. 28 degrees. Africa in the North of Germany. Pádraig is doing ok, he’s hanging in there. Great to know that the weekend is over, without an incident. Really nice nurses supervising and encouraging us to get involved in Pádraig’s care. We managed to lift him out of and into his bed, and working with the speech valve.

Started to write up a plan for An Saol. Also talked to and exchanged emails with a number of people who are really enthusiastic of the idea. There has been some response to the call to support #AnSaol, and some of Pádraig’s great friends have started to lobby politicians. To make An Saol a reality, it will need supporters, many, people who can make things happen: people like you, who will not accept things as they are. People like Pádraig.

After having been with Pádraig, we went out to see Eamonn in his Irish Pub in Hamburg – no, it’s not called Eamonn’s but (for some reason:) Paddy’s Bar. We were told he’s there every night, except tonight;) Tough luck, we thought, we’ll have to go again!

Before I finish tonight, I wanted to ask you what you think would be the most important things to take into account when thinking about and planning An Saol?

Any ideas?

And – would you like to get involved in one way or another?

[Comment – or send an email to caringforpadraig@gmail.com.]