Sitting in a cold living room in cold Ireland, realising why the autumn starts in August in Ireland – when this is still very much considered summer in Germany. It’s lonely here but it doesn’t feel real. Where is this space that triggers off memories yet is so unfamiliar? I notice that i am telling people that i am back in Germany, when I am back home, in Ireland. It always surprises me to which extend this moving between worlds, time, spaces, memories, and expectations confuses my mind.

The one thing that is warm and that is real is our kitchen stove/oven:

And there is the rare fridge magnet bringing back memories of Oscar Wilde Quotes and An Saol, the original.

Tomorrow, I’ll be visiting a house run by ABI Ireland in Tullamore. It’ll be interesting to see what one of the several organisations actively working with ABI clients has achieved. The idea is to learn from the lessons and the experience of other organisations working in this field, and to see whether at least aspects of what they do could be applied to the development of An Saol.

Pádraig is still recovering from what seems to be a bit of a cold. It is, of course, not good to see him struggling with it but the fact that he manages himself to deal with it without an outside intervention is really really good. It’s just another sign of him getting stronger and more in control of his body and well-being. Over the past few days, we decided to try and identify a few key things that we want to address together with the carers, the therapists, and his doctor. Just a handful of things that we feel need to be addressed and, if we all work together on this, can be addressed.

I can’t say I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep. To be honest, if I could I would prefer not to sleep at all. “I sleep in the kitchen with my feet in the hall. Sleep is like a temporary death. Meet me at the bottom, don’t lag behind. Bring me my boots and shoes”, Bob Dylan sings in the Workingman’s Blues – and tonight I feel he’s probably right…

PS1: Hospi-tales climbed up to #4 of Blog Awards

Great line on the wall of Johann Albrecht – the restaurant we went to tonight to celebrate Pat’s birthday.

‘Brauhaus Johann Albrecht’, said the really nice nurse looking after Pádraig this afternoon when she heard that today was Pat’s birthday. (It was the same sister who managed to get him out the week before last week.) So, we followed her advice – the place she had recommended was just behind the Innenalster, but with a boat connection via one of Hamburgs dozens of canals.

German Tapas – Spanish-style!

The view out the window!

Earlier on, we told someone Pádraig’s story to get some advice on what we should look out for, to make sure we were doing our best for him, to see what he thought should be the next steps. We told him how exceptional we thought Pádraig has been, about his writing, his radio shows, his love for music, his amazing, amazing friends, his work with Irish. We told him about how fit he has been, swimming in a Division 1 College in the USA, cycling the length of Italy (with the fellow who regularly tried to clean him out playing poker:), keeping himself really really healthy and in such a good shape. We said that we know that he would have liked to be really challenged. We got a simple, deafening answer: ‘I think I know what kind of person Pádraig is’, he said, ‘ because anybody less positive, less active, and less fit would not have survived half of what you just told me.’ – Which is where the devastating gravity of what happened that day in June of last year, again, hit me.

When we went in to see him, he had a slightly elevated heart rate and a bit of a fever – was it time again? There seemed to be a pattern emerging  – a pattern that we began to recognise but, nonetheless, one we could not explain… Luckily, by the time we left, the temperature and his other (obvious) markers had started to go back down to a normal temperature. What a relief!!!

Today, Google congratulated Pat on their home page. That’s where it gets spooky, doesn’t it?! She is sure she never gave Google her date of birth. Look at this:

Just listening to the Rose of Tralee in the background. It’s far too early this year, I thought, when I heard one of the Roses singing one of Pádraig’s favourite songs:

Oh, the North country winters keep a gettin’ me now
Lost my money playin’ poker so I had to up and leave
But I ain’t a turnin’ back
To livin’ that old life no more

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

Well, please help Pádraig getting the money back he lost “plain’ pocker” with his ‘friends’ – keep the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August). An if you’re a better swimmer than a poker player, please join the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

Finally – please keep voting for Hospi-tales on http://www.blogawardsireland.com/best-blog-post-2014/ – the blog is still (just about) in an amazing 5th place! But to keep it there, you, your family and all of your friends will need to keep voting!

Today’s German Music Tip
Kollegah, Alpha. Another one of the new wave of German rappers. Again – not my kind of music, really – but he he incredibly successful, especially among teenagers: 8m clicks on this song alone!
What’s hot
Birthdays
What’s cold
Google’s Birthday Wishes
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Eh, kannse nich ma aufpassen??!!

Another Sunday almost over. Months ago, Pat and I spent half an hour each Sunday writing up a weekly update on how Pádraig was doing to make sure all family and close friends would know about his progress. At that time, we were anxious for Pádraig to have access to the right treatment and therapy. We saw how the Irish health system was making it extremely difficult for the people working with patients like Pádraig to do a good job. There were shortages everywhere. There was no place to go – in Beaumont, we were told that we were among the lucky one. Because we lived close by, we did not have to move Pádraig to the ‘periphery’.

We’ve been in Germany now for a bit longer than 9 months. We have learned more about hospital systems in different countries, more about neuro rehabilitation, and more about brain injuries than we ever thought was possible.

Over the past weeks, we talked a lot about what we’d learned and how we could make the best use of all these lessons. We started to write it down. It’s becoming the blueprint for An Saol. More about it some other day.

I’m back in the apartment after eight hours of driving and five hours in the hospital, absolutely exhausted. It was nice talking to our daughter on the way down to Weeze. My plan to use the quiet time on the way back to reflect and think, however, had to be changed. I drank a litre of Diet Coke and really concentrated on traffic, and just about managed to stay awake.

It’s great to have visitors around again this weekend. It was one of the things we were really afraid of when we moved Pádraig to Germany, that he would loose touch with what he values most: his friends. Of course, it would have been infinitely easier for them to see him on a regular basis in Dublin. It’s really so amazing how they are staying in touch and organise regular visits to him. Friends going abroad for longer periods stop by on the way or before they leave home – just to make sure to share their plans and big life changes with him. Others squeeze in a couple of days between work and study. I am sure they know, but it cannot said often enough, how important their effort to make the long and expensive trip to Hamburg is for Pádraig.

Pádraig still in his ‘old’ room, waiting for the transfer. Last week, we tried to find out what the move will mean for him and how it will affect his therapies, and were told to get in touch with the consultant on the other ward. He’ll be on holidays for another week and a bit, so we’ll have to wait and be patient.

From next week, we’ll start visiting a number of people and rehab facilities in Germany and Ireland to gather more information and support for An Saol, and the optimum treatment and therapies for people with severe TBI. We have a good idea of what we would like to do, but want to compare that with what is being done already and we want to get some feedback from experienced practitioners. It’ll be a busy two weeks, with some traveling. There will be one day where neither of the two of us will be here, but it’ll be ok, I’m sure.

On the road again tomorrow, bringing one of our daughters to Weeze – it’s not exactly around the corner and don’t ask why we’re doing it. It’s just one of those things that we didn’t manage to organise in a more straight forward way. It’ll be nice to talk (on the way down), and it’ll be nice to have time to think (on the way back up).

Today’s German Music Tip
Cro, Easy (2011). – It shows up my age, I suppose. It is not Udo Lindenberg anymore, not anymore for a long time. It’s German hiphop. And Cro is one of the absolute stars in that scene, with more than 40m youtube clicks on this song alone.
What’s hot
Visits
What’s cold
Isolation
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Mensch, das wär’ ja noch Schöner!

It all depends.

People could be looking at the same situation and come to completely different conclusions. It all depends on your perspective. How you see things depends as much on from where you are coming from as on what you are looking at. Robin Williams, a genius who left us way too early last week said in Dead Poets Society:

“Remind yourself that you must constantly look at things in a different way. Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way, even though it may seem silly or wrong. You must try. You must strive to find your own voice. – Most people lead their lives in quiet desperation. Don’t resign yourselves to this!”

Pádraig could have given up a long time ago. He didn’t. Instead, he is giving us the energy to do things we never thought we’d were capable of, to see life from a different perspective. He won’t live a life in quiet desperation – and he wouldn’t want any of us to do so. Ever.

For the first time this week (and the third time in total), we went out for a walk with him in the garden and grounds of the Schön-Klinik. It was lovely, although it started to rain and we had to get back into the building.

I’m beginning to put the memories of respirators, pneumonia and antibiotics, phone calls at night, worries, the feeling that my whole body was just flushed in shock, I’m beginning to put that away, I want to forget about it. Forget that this ever happened.

One of the quotes hanging at home on the wall of his room is by Oscar Wilde: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Sure, what else would be worth looking at?

It’s all about perspective. Isn’t it?

Keep the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August) and the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

It’s the most amazing piece of news I’ve heard in a long long time. I’m sure you’ll agree.

They will invest six million. Not in a start-up business. Not in a new hotel. Not in a public park or a playground. They will invest this phenomenal amount of money to “improve safety”.

There is this stretch of road that has, according to a recent news report, “long been dangerous for cyclists and pedestrians”. They want to make that safer by, for example, reducing the width of the driving lanes by one foot on each side by moving the white line inward. “This should give cyclists more room”, said Chief Koch according to that report.

The work will be carried out by the State Department of Transportation. They will widen the side of the road for cyclists, and double the sidewalks on what, apparently, has been known for a long time to be a really dangerous stretch of the road for cyclists and pedestrians alike.

That stretch of the road, and here comes the bit that makes these news amazing, this stretch of the road is in Brewster, Massachusetts. None other than that where Pádraig was hit by a 4.3 ton van when he was cycling to work on the morning of 27th June last year.

The report with these news was published by the Cape Cod Times on 01 August 2014 under the headline: Fixes on the way for cycling trouble spot

At the end, the report mentions Pádraig’s accident and refers to a police report first published in a press release immediately after the accident, blaming not the driver of the van that hit him (a local man), not the dangerous condition of the road (apparently well known for a long time), but Pádraig himself because “he turned in front of a van”, leaving Pádraig fighting for his life, but his bicycle completely in tact.

Pádraig had a good day today, loads of therapy, a good lunch (about five small spoons of pureed vegetables and half a yoghurt), several hours sitting out in the wheelchair, and about an hour with a completely blocked tracheostomy – meaning that he was happily breathing in and out of his mouth and nose, something swimmers would call a PB, or a personal best. We are not the specialists, but we are enthusiastic, we know what he is capable of, and we notice even small signs of improvement. It might take a bit more time, but I think this tracheostomy is on its way out.

Oh – please keep voting for Hospi-tales on http://www.blogawardsireland.com/best-blog-post-2014/ and ask your family, friends, followers, everybody to vote as well, once a week. It’s currently in the #4 spot, but I know we can do better!!! We’ll dedicate the win to him and to all of you, his amazing friends!

Part of our life in Germany is waking up to Shay Byrne’s Risin’ Time. It finishes at 8am with the 7 o’clock news. There isn’t one morning that I wouldn’t be confused by the Irish news in our Hamburg apartment being read out an hour later. Wouldn’t you be?

So, I’m not sure whether you listen to RTÉ in the morning. I mean, early morning. Really early. Even before Morning Ireland. Ok, you’re right: it’s easier to do this when you’re in Germany. Each morning, just after the 6:30 news, they have someone offering a ‘thought for the day’. This week it’s all about the life of a poet who became a famous singer. His best story, at least for me, is about meeting Janis Joplin in the lift of the Chelsea Hotel, looking for Kris Kristofferson: You told me again you preferred handsome men, but for me you would make an exception. As an observer of what is going on in the world he writes: Looked through the paper. Makes you want to cry. Nobody cares if the people live or die.

Some famous reporter said this week that rarely would you find a situation like now, when you find it hard to decide which human-made catastrophe to report on first – there are just too many.

Today, we had a meeting with Pádraig’s main doctor who told us that he has made so much progress that there is no need for him to continue in the intermediate care ward. He is on the transfer list to a different ward, with more focus on rehab and less on medical needs. We don’t know when Pádraig will be moved, it’ll depend on the availability of a bed on the other ward. One one hand, we will be sorry to leave all the fantastic people behind who have helped Pádraig to make so much progress. On the other hand – nothing like having that recognised by moving on to a different team focusing on patients with less medical needs.

Another big step in the right direction.

Finally, there is this ‘campaign’ going on for this blog to do well in the Irish Blog Awards:) – Check it out, vote and ask your friends to vote here – once each week! You can make the impossible happen!

About eight years ago, Pádraig started An Saol, a blog and podcast using the amazing possibilities of the internet to enter into a conversation with the rest of the world, in Irish. He made friends through his blog and got in touch with people in places he hadn’t even heard of before. He got a logo designed, for half nothing, by an internet logo design discounter, and he put that logo on t-shirts, fridge magnets, and mugs.

And then, someone nominated his blog for the Blog Awards.

What had been a passion became an obsession. He really could not believe what was happening. To him! There were people out there, people he had never met, people who spoke Irish, people in all sorts of different corners of the world, who were interested what he was writing and talking about, who thought that An Saol was great, who had nominated him for the Best Blog Award in the Irish Language category. He got everybody to vote for him, checked out the competition, bought a ticket for the award ceremony, but then didn’t win a prize. He thought that he was probably too young, that they hadn’t taken him serious enough.

For Pádraig, this was the beginning of a ‘career’ in broadcasting in the Irish language. He moved on from the ‘studio’ in his bedroom to real studios in Raidió na Gaeltachta, Raidió Rí-Rá, and Raidió na Life. I started to listen to Irish Language radio, though I didn’t understand a word. Then I began to recognise some words, eventually I could guess what he was talking about. His excitement was contagious. And the highlights were interviews. Imagine, he was interviewing people live on the radio – and they took the time to talk to him! It was pure magic!

Pádraig today was grand. It was a bit of an ordinary day. For the first time in ages it was raining outside, so there was no question of him going out. He continues to eat ok (a few spoons of finely pureed hospital food and yoghourts), we lift him out into the wheelchair for a few hours, do some exercises, and block his tracheostomy for a while to get him used to breathing in and out through his mouth and nose. He is receiving extra therapies to try and strengthen muscles in his core and neck. The idea is to get him to a point where the tracheostomy can be removed for good. What a day that will be!

Today, I got almost carried away myself with the Blog Awards. Hospi-tales is now at number eight. It it stays amongst the top ten, it’ll be short-listed and judged by a panel. The voting will go on for several weeks and you can vote every week. So – please keep up your support and, as importantly, keep asking your friends to give us a vote every week, and get your friends’ friends to mobilise their social networks!

Wouldn’t it be great if Pádraig’s blog got the prize this time around?

Finally, remember to keep the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August) and, if you like swimming in the open sea, the date for the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

This morning, I spent a bit of time writing up some thoughts about the accident. Doing what I do (or should be doing:), I did a bit of research and found this book about “City Cycling”. It’s a book of edited articles, one about “Cycling Safety”. For various reasons, it’s a really interesting article that says, amongst other things, about cycling accidents: The language of injury causation is often distorted, with a tendency to blame the victim. They say that what could be considered ‘normal behaviour’ becomes ‘irresponsible’ (especially when children are involved) whereas the real causes, dangerous neighbourhood and roadway design and dangerous driver behaviour are usually not addressed.

Think about it: it happens regularly. Stuff is turned upside down. Victims become perpetrators. Dictators and mass murderers become heroes. Terrorists become freedom fighters. Torture becomes an acceptable interrogation technique. Innocent children become ‘collateral’.

This is when you need a clear head. When you have goal posts that don’t shift. When you know where you stand. When you stand firm and name what is bad: quite often, like Rumpelstilzchen, it stumps with its feed, gets really angry, and then – disappears.

Another day in the room. Pádraig is now getting physiotherapy to strengthen his core which will allow him to breathe better, which, in turn, will make it easier to take out the tracheostomy, eventually. That would really be another big step forward: being able to manage without this tube stuck in his neck. He is well able now to breathe, even with the tracheostomy completely closed – which is what we are practising once or twice a day. The problem is that he can do this only when his head is in a good position. What he needs to work on is to develop the muscles and strength to keep the airwaves open, even when his head is not in the ideal position.

He needs to stump his feet, not just tap:), and the tracheostomy will disappear – just like Rumpelstilzchen!!!

Don’t forget to sign up for the poker night of the year: 23 August, 19:30–01:00
Wishing Well, Newtown Park, Blackrock, Dublin Co. Dublin.

And – vote for hospi-tales and get this blog into the Top 10 for the Irish Blog Awards.