“Do you want the 7 billion or do you not?” is what I remember from the debate about the Maastricht Treaty in 1992, and people ringing Joe Duffy: telling him that they had divided 7 billion euro into 4 million people and had come up with 1,750 euro per head; sending him their account number. The question about the 7 billion, whether we wanted the money or not, was the question to which Albert Reynolds, then Taoiseach or Irish Prime Minister, had reduced the whole debate about the treaty. Easy. This is how you win votes and referenda – Albert had the skill, later Irish leaders did not. On occasions, they had to put the question about European Treaties out a second time to the electorate before they got the desired response…. Albert Reynolds died last Thursday and with him a very different way to run the country. May he rest in peace.

Pádraig moved to his new ward today. Just one floor up. He was clearly not very comfortable with that change. It’ll take some time before he and us will get used to the new surroundings, the new regime, and this new nurses and doctors. In the old ward, we new everybody. We had arrived months before some of the nurses themselves had started to work on this ward. He was a bit better in the afternoon. And hungry. He had another of those 190g jars which he liked so much yesterday.

I visited two residences today where families and their brain injured children we had met and got to know over the past year. Although their children, all around thei mid-twenties to early thirties, are being looked after in residences, they spent a considerable number of hours with them to make sure they have company and are well looked after. Imagine if all of that work and all of this energy could be channeled into An Sail, for the good of everybody!

If you have ever been to Hamburg, and if you ever got the Aer Lingus flight, then yo know that I’ll have to get up just after midnight, just in a couple of hours.

Passing the O’Bama homestead village on the way to Limerick.

Got up at dawn and went for a road trip. When it should have been the train. I still can’t get used to the commute to Limerick in a car. It feels wrong. And I’m wondering, whether the conductor has been away to southern Spain for his annual golf outing with his pals; whether the rather big barrister in his dark grey with black stripes suit is still going to criminal trials to Limerick; whether one of my oldest friends with the red hair is still going up and down every day of the week for his job? I didn’t get a chance to say good-bye to them. Do they miss me? Are they wondering, whatever happened to this man with the rucksack and black flask of hot coffee? Does the clerk in Irish Rail keep that annual ticket for me, the one I’ve bought more than a dozen years and that, surely, must have been ready waiting for me on his desk?

Today was about more than just missing the train. When I was in Limerick, thinking about going home, when I was thinking of home, I was thinking of going home to Dublin, to Pat and the kids. When I finally did got back tonight, the house was empty. There was no one there.

Two news items from Hamburg tonight – both absolute and complete ‘firsts’.

Pádraig must have been hungry. We have organised a few jars (190ml) of pureed food as an alternative to the sometimes not so suitable hospital food and today – for the first time ever – he finished an entire jar, and what is better: without any problems at all, just one small spoon after another!

And then came the call: tomorrow, Pádraig is going to move up one floor to 2L, a ward just and exclusively for rehab, no more acute care, no more monitors (we believe). Finally. And to tell you the truth, it all adds to my confusion: imagine, it’s now nine months ago that Pádraig went to Hamburg to receive rehab. On arrival, he was to spend a few days in ICU / Intermediate Care in order to recover from the trip over. He had to go back on a respirator, his lung collapsed, he had three operations, followed by a SIRS – and came out on the other end, now eating, communicating, getting close to ‘loosing’ the tracheostomy (we hope).

I just cannot, cannot, cannot imagine the will to live, the enormous effort, the gigantic strength it must have taken to do this.

Today – and this is not a ‘first’ but at least a ‘second’ – a nurse said to Pat when she accompanied her and Pádraig for ‘walk on the wild side #4’ (!) that in her 20 years of experience as a nurse she had never ever, nunca jamás, seen so many people visiting on such a regular basis a patient! There must be something special with the Irish, she said (does that make me Irish?:).

And so say all of us!

This blog is still #4 (one down from last night) of Best Blog Awards Ireland: please keep voting for it: http://www.blogawardsireland.com/best-blog-post-2014/

Keep the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August). And, if you’re a better swimmer than a poker player, please join the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

Unheilig, Geboren um zu leben. – Heard this song again on a CD someone had left in the player and listened to the lyrics: 

Wir waren geboren um zu leben
für den einen Augenblick
Bei dem jeder von uns spürte
wie wertvoll Leben ist

Es tut noch weh
wieder neuem Platz zu schaffen
Mit gutem Gefühl
etwas Neues zuzulassen

Mounts have been in the news recently, together with references to an exodus of biblical proportions. UN groups quoted by the Guardian newspaper said at least 40,000 Yazidis, many of them women and children, had taken refuge in nine locations on Mount Sinjar, a mile-high ridge identified in local legend as the final resting place of Noah’s Ark. You could get there in less than 5 hours from Dublin, maybe around the time it takes to get to the Canary Islands. – What kind of world is this?

Today, I visited Mount Bolus – one of those rare places Google maps does not show any details for. It looks like a name printed on map in the middle of nowhere. It’s near Tullamore in Ireland. And yes, Tullamore is not a huge place either…

I went there with a lady from ABI Ireland and was welcomed by other ABI Ireland staff when we arrived. It is an amazing place, one of the nicest places for (mainly young) people with ABI I’ve seen so far. It has all the elements one would wish to see in place for their loved one, and staff who couldn’t be nicer. It was a true revelation.

There were more meetings during the day, all with truly amazing people. At the end of the day we decided to continue our discussions to make An Saol a reality.

Pádraig has still been recovering from his cold. All in all, he is over it, but it will take another few days until it’ll be gone completely. Apart from the cold itself, which, by itself, is not pleasant for him, it prevented him from getting his usual therapies as the therapists decided not to put him under pressure.

Early tomorrow morning I’ll be on the road to lovely Limerick, let’s hope for a nice dry morning!

Tonight this blog managed to get to Number 3 of Best Blog Awards Ireland: please keep voting for it!

Note the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August). And, if you’re a better swimmer than a poker player, please join the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

Sitting in a cold living room in cold Ireland, realising why the autumn starts in August in Ireland – when this is still very much considered summer in Germany. It’s lonely here but it doesn’t feel real. Where is this space that triggers off memories yet is so unfamiliar? I notice that i am telling people that i am back in Germany, when I am back home, in Ireland. It always surprises me to which extend this moving between worlds, time, spaces, memories, and expectations confuses my mind.

The one thing that is warm and that is real is our kitchen stove/oven:

And there is the rare fridge magnet bringing back memories of Oscar Wilde Quotes and An Saol, the original.

Tomorrow, I’ll be visiting a house run by ABI Ireland in Tullamore. It’ll be interesting to see what one of the several organisations actively working with ABI clients has achieved. The idea is to learn from the lessons and the experience of other organisations working in this field, and to see whether at least aspects of what they do could be applied to the development of An Saol.

Pádraig is still recovering from what seems to be a bit of a cold. It is, of course, not good to see him struggling with it but the fact that he manages himself to deal with it without an outside intervention is really really good. It’s just another sign of him getting stronger and more in control of his body and well-being. Over the past few days, we decided to try and identify a few key things that we want to address together with the carers, the therapists, and his doctor. Just a handful of things that we feel need to be addressed and, if we all work together on this, can be addressed.

I can’t say I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep. To be honest, if I could I would prefer not to sleep at all. “I sleep in the kitchen with my feet in the hall. Sleep is like a temporary death. Meet me at the bottom, don’t lag behind. Bring me my boots and shoes”, Bob Dylan sings in the Workingman’s Blues – and tonight I feel he’s probably right…

PS1: Hospi-tales climbed up to #4 of Blog Awards

Great line on the wall of Johann Albrecht – the restaurant we went to tonight to celebrate Pat’s birthday.

‘Brauhaus Johann Albrecht’, said the really nice nurse looking after Pádraig this afternoon when she heard that today was Pat’s birthday. (It was the same sister who managed to get him out the week before last week.) So, we followed her advice – the place she had recommended was just behind the Innenalster, but with a boat connection via one of Hamburgs dozens of canals.

German Tapas – Spanish-style!

The view out the window!

Earlier on, we told someone Pádraig’s story to get some advice on what we should look out for, to make sure we were doing our best for him, to see what he thought should be the next steps. We told him how exceptional we thought Pádraig has been, about his writing, his radio shows, his love for music, his amazing, amazing friends, his work with Irish. We told him about how fit he has been, swimming in a Division 1 College in the USA, cycling the length of Italy (with the fellow who regularly tried to clean him out playing poker:), keeping himself really really healthy and in such a good shape. We said that we know that he would have liked to be really challenged. We got a simple, deafening answer: ‘I think I know what kind of person Pádraig is’, he said, ‘ because anybody less positive, less active, and less fit would not have survived half of what you just told me.’ – Which is where the devastating gravity of what happened that day in June of last year, again, hit me.

When we went in to see him, he had a slightly elevated heart rate and a bit of a fever – was it time again? There seemed to be a pattern emerging  – a pattern that we began to recognise but, nonetheless, one we could not explain… Luckily, by the time we left, the temperature and his other (obvious) markers had started to go back down to a normal temperature. What a relief!!!

Today, Google congratulated Pat on their home page. That’s where it gets spooky, doesn’t it?! She is sure she never gave Google her date of birth. Look at this:

Just listening to the Rose of Tralee in the background. It’s far too early this year, I thought, when I heard one of the Roses singing one of Pádraig’s favourite songs:

Oh, the North country winters keep a gettin’ me now
Lost my money playin’ poker so I had to up and leave
But I ain’t a turnin’ back
To livin’ that old life no more

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

Well, please help Pádraig getting the money back he lost “plain’ pocker” with his ‘friends’ – keep the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August). An if you’re a better swimmer than a poker player, please join the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

Finally – please keep voting for Hospi-tales on http://www.blogawardsireland.com/best-blog-post-2014/ – the blog is still (just about) in an amazing 5th place! But to keep it there, you, your family and all of your friends will need to keep voting!

Today’s German Music Tip
Kollegah, Alpha. Another one of the new wave of German rappers. Again – not my kind of music, really – but he he incredibly successful, especially among teenagers: 8m clicks on this song alone!
What’s hot
Birthdays
What’s cold
Google’s Birthday Wishes
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Eh, kannse nich ma aufpassen??!!

Another Sunday almost over. Months ago, Pat and I spent half an hour each Sunday writing up a weekly update on how Pádraig was doing to make sure all family and close friends would know about his progress. At that time, we were anxious for Pádraig to have access to the right treatment and therapy. We saw how the Irish health system was making it extremely difficult for the people working with patients like Pádraig to do a good job. There were shortages everywhere. There was no place to go – in Beaumont, we were told that we were among the lucky one. Because we lived close by, we did not have to move Pádraig to the ‘periphery’.

We’ve been in Germany now for a bit longer than 9 months. We have learned more about hospital systems in different countries, more about neuro rehabilitation, and more about brain injuries than we ever thought was possible.

Over the past weeks, we talked a lot about what we’d learned and how we could make the best use of all these lessons. We started to write it down. It’s becoming the blueprint for An Saol. More about it some other day.

I’m back in the apartment after eight hours of driving and five hours in the hospital, absolutely exhausted. It was nice talking to our daughter on the way down to Weeze. My plan to use the quiet time on the way back to reflect and think, however, had to be changed. I drank a litre of Diet Coke and really concentrated on traffic, and just about managed to stay awake.

It’s great to have visitors around again this weekend. It was one of the things we were really afraid of when we moved Pádraig to Germany, that he would loose touch with what he values most: his friends. Of course, it would have been infinitely easier for them to see him on a regular basis in Dublin. It’s really so amazing how they are staying in touch and organise regular visits to him. Friends going abroad for longer periods stop by on the way or before they leave home – just to make sure to share their plans and big life changes with him. Others squeeze in a couple of days between work and study. I am sure they know, but it cannot said often enough, how important their effort to make the long and expensive trip to Hamburg is for Pádraig.

Pádraig still in his ‘old’ room, waiting for the transfer. Last week, we tried to find out what the move will mean for him and how it will affect his therapies, and were told to get in touch with the consultant on the other ward. He’ll be on holidays for another week and a bit, so we’ll have to wait and be patient.

From next week, we’ll start visiting a number of people and rehab facilities in Germany and Ireland to gather more information and support for An Saol, and the optimum treatment and therapies for people with severe TBI. We have a good idea of what we would like to do, but want to compare that with what is being done already and we want to get some feedback from experienced practitioners. It’ll be a busy two weeks, with some traveling. There will be one day where neither of the two of us will be here, but it’ll be ok, I’m sure.

On the road again tomorrow, bringing one of our daughters to Weeze – it’s not exactly around the corner and don’t ask why we’re doing it. It’s just one of those things that we didn’t manage to organise in a more straight forward way. It’ll be nice to talk (on the way down), and it’ll be nice to have time to think (on the way back up).

Today’s German Music Tip
Cro, Easy (2011). – It shows up my age, I suppose. It is not Udo Lindenberg anymore, not anymore for a long time. It’s German hiphop. And Cro is one of the absolute stars in that scene, with more than 40m youtube clicks on this song alone.
What’s hot
Visits
What’s cold
Isolation
The German word/phrase/verse of the day
Mensch, das wär’ ja noch Schöner!

It all depends.

People could be looking at the same situation and come to completely different conclusions. It all depends on your perspective. How you see things depends as much on from where you are coming from as on what you are looking at. Robin Williams, a genius who left us way too early last week said in Dead Poets Society:

“Remind yourself that you must constantly look at things in a different way. Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way, even though it may seem silly or wrong. You must try. You must strive to find your own voice. – Most people lead their lives in quiet desperation. Don’t resign yourselves to this!”

Pádraig could have given up a long time ago. He didn’t. Instead, he is giving us the energy to do things we never thought we’d were capable of, to see life from a different perspective. He won’t live a life in quiet desperation – and he wouldn’t want any of us to do so. Ever.

For the first time this week (and the third time in total), we went out for a walk with him in the garden and grounds of the Schön-Klinik. It was lovely, although it started to rain and we had to get back into the building.

I’m beginning to put the memories of respirators, pneumonia and antibiotics, phone calls at night, worries, the feeling that my whole body was just flushed in shock, I’m beginning to put that away, I want to forget about it. Forget that this ever happened.

One of the quotes hanging at home on the wall of his room is by Oscar Wilde: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Sure, what else would be worth looking at?

It’s all about perspective. Isn’t it?

Keep the date for the poker night for Pádraig (23 August) and the Sea Swim for Pádraig (06 September)!

It’s the most amazing piece of news I’ve heard in a long long time. I’m sure you’ll agree.

They will invest six million. Not in a start-up business. Not in a new hotel. Not in a public park or a playground. They will invest this phenomenal amount of money to “improve safety”.

There is this stretch of road that has, according to a recent news report, “long been dangerous for cyclists and pedestrians”. They want to make that safer by, for example, reducing the width of the driving lanes by one foot on each side by moving the white line inward. “This should give cyclists more room”, said Chief Koch according to that report.

The work will be carried out by the State Department of Transportation. They will widen the side of the road for cyclists, and double the sidewalks on what, apparently, has been known for a long time to be a really dangerous stretch of the road for cyclists and pedestrians alike.

That stretch of the road, and here comes the bit that makes these news amazing, this stretch of the road is in Brewster, Massachusetts. None other than that where Pádraig was hit by a 4.3 ton van when he was cycling to work on the morning of 27th June last year.

The report with these news was published by the Cape Cod Times on 01 August 2014 under the headline: Fixes on the way for cycling trouble spot

At the end, the report mentions Pádraig’s accident and refers to a police report first published in a press release immediately after the accident, blaming not the driver of the van that hit him (a local man), not the dangerous condition of the road (apparently well known for a long time), but Pádraig himself because “he turned in front of a van”, leaving Pádraig fighting for his life, but his bicycle completely in tact.

Pádraig had a good day today, loads of therapy, a good lunch (about five small spoons of pureed vegetables and half a yoghurt), several hours sitting out in the wheelchair, and about an hour with a completely blocked tracheostomy – meaning that he was happily breathing in and out of his mouth and nose, something swimmers would call a PB, or a personal best. We are not the specialists, but we are enthusiastic, we know what he is capable of, and we notice even small signs of improvement. It might take a bit more time, but I think this tracheostomy is on its way out.

Oh – please keep voting for Hospi-tales on http://www.blogawardsireland.com/best-blog-post-2014/ and ask your family, friends, followers, everybody to vote as well, once a week. It’s currently in the #4 spot, but I know we can do better!!! We’ll dedicate the win to him and to all of you, his amazing friends!

Part of our life in Germany is waking up to Shay Byrne’s Risin’ Time. It finishes at 8am with the 7 o’clock news. There isn’t one morning that I wouldn’t be confused by the Irish news in our Hamburg apartment being read out an hour later. Wouldn’t you be?

So, I’m not sure whether you listen to RTÉ in the morning. I mean, early morning. Really early. Even before Morning Ireland. Ok, you’re right: it’s easier to do this when you’re in Germany. Each morning, just after the 6:30 news, they have someone offering a ‘thought for the day’. This week it’s all about the life of a poet who became a famous singer. His best story, at least for me, is about meeting Janis Joplin in the lift of the Chelsea Hotel, looking for Kris Kristofferson: You told me again you preferred handsome men, but for me you would make an exception. As an observer of what is going on in the world he writes: Looked through the paper. Makes you want to cry. Nobody cares if the people live or die.

Some famous reporter said this week that rarely would you find a situation like now, when you find it hard to decide which human-made catastrophe to report on first – there are just too many.

Today, we had a meeting with Pádraig’s main doctor who told us that he has made so much progress that there is no need for him to continue in the intermediate care ward. He is on the transfer list to a different ward, with more focus on rehab and less on medical needs. We don’t know when Pádraig will be moved, it’ll depend on the availability of a bed on the other ward. One one hand, we will be sorry to leave all the fantastic people behind who have helped Pádraig to make so much progress. On the other hand – nothing like having that recognised by moving on to a different team focusing on patients with less medical needs.

Another big step in the right direction.

Finally, there is this ‘campaign’ going on for this blog to do well in the Irish Blog Awards:) – Check it out, vote and ask your friends to vote here – once each week! You can make the impossible happen!