Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their ground.
Henry David Thoreau

Hömma: Mucke, Pilsken, Pott, Bude. Hier wird nich lang gefackelt. Kein Gelaber, mach einfach.“

This is the language I grew up with. Ruhrpott Deutsch.

In the Ruhr region, people don’t talk fancy — but they talk honestly. Honest, direct, down-to-earth, no beating around the bush. Warm and full of solidarity — people speak “at eye level.” Humorous and self-ironic, often with a wink. Uncomplicated and practical — what must be done, must be done.

It is said that your identify forms during your adolescence, between 12 and 18 years, and you build your autonomy and develop your purpose during young adulthood, between 18 and 25 years of age.

The “Who am I?” phase.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning, judgment, and impulse control, continues developing until you are about 25 years old.

I have lived in Ireland longer than I ever lived in Germany, and more years than our children’s age. Yet, our children speak better English, and certainly better Irish, than I do. Nobody ever doubts their “irishness”, whereas a taxi driver asked me after just a few minutes in his car whether I was from the Netherlands and a Minister once stated that she always refers to me as “The German”.

What is the difference between The Irish and The German?

Is it that an English speaker in Ireland would say: “I’ll tell you the truth — but I’ll make sure you feel good hearing it.”, whereas someone from the Ruhr region would say: “I’ll tell you the truth — because you deserve nothing less.”

Both come from a community-centred culture, but they express respect in very different ways. In Ireland it’s expressed through kindness and tact. In the Ruhrpott through honesty and straightforwardness.

Language is, of course, a vehicle to express yourself, your culture and approach. Different languages are more than just different words.

So, am I German or am I Irish? – If the recent elections were an indicator, the answer would be straight forward.

While everybody in the family did, I couldn’t vote for the two candidates running for the Irish presidency.

In the past, I tried to fill in an application form to acquire Irish citizenship. However, even as someone well familiar with bureaucracy (!) and forms (!), this form was too much for me and I had to surrender, at least temporarily.

I will come back to it. I won’t give up.

I have learned that learning English and becoming fluent is not enough to speak the language as the “natives” do in Ireland. It’s not just about the words, it’s about the way you say it. The “German” in me, while fading, has not disappeared.

In my mind, I am both. German and Irish. I would like to see that reflected in my words, in my citizenship, and in the way people perceive me.

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their ground! I will go for it! Hau rein!