One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.
Jack Kerouac (Some of the Dharma, 1997)
Last Friday was the day, 12 years ago, at 10am local time, that Mark Couto in his 4.3 ton pickup truck clipped Pádraig’s handlebar on Route 6A. Pádraig’s head first hit the A pillar on the right side of Mark Couto’s truck leaving a dent in the heavy metal and then his head hit the road.
On my way from Hainan to Hyannis, I listened to Forever Young. Again and again. I tried to remember the lyrics to distract my mind. I did that again last Friday and cried. Again.
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
I hoped that all this was a bad mistake. This is stuff of terrible news reports. This does not happen to my son.
A nurse who happened to jog down the road revived him. The police, later investigated by the Office of the Attorney General of Massachusetts, told us that he had cycled into the way of a truck and issued a press release to the same effect within a couple of hours, adding that the driver was not cited – he also was not tested for substances, his car was not impounded, and his phone records not checked. In hospital, doctors asked his friend who had rushed in to support Pádraig, not once but twice, to consent to organ donation. When we arrived the next day, they told us, repeatedly, that he would have an intolerable life and suggested that his organs could dramatically improve the lives of three or four very sick people.
Back in Dublin, and following what amounted to a dramatic evacuation in a Learjet, we were asked which nursing home he was going to go to; a specialised rehab nurse even suggested at his bedside that it might have been better had he died.
Rather than being dead, he is now the inspiration behind the An Saol Foundation and its world-leading rehab centre for people with a severe Acquired Brain Injury. He became a champion with the Decision Support Service for the 2015 Assisted Decision Making (Capacity) Act, a very public campaigner for equal rights, the star of an award-winning radio programme, and a contributor to book and scientific research publications. A trail blazer.
Look at the starsLook how they shine for youAnd everything you do
He realised one of his dreams: travelling to Alaska. He gets the ferry to Bilbao once a year for Eastern. Spends time in Tating. Loves his family and friends, especially his young nephew.
Life is not only tolerable. It is pretty ok. Most of the time.
Most of the timeI’m clear focused all aroundMost of the timeI can keep both feet on the ground
I can follow the pathI can read the signsStay right with itWhen the road unwindsI can handle whatever I stumble upon
Some time there is sadness, there are memories, feelings of the loss of youth and innocence. There is worry about what the future might hold.
I have lost my “Unbeschwerte Unbekümmertheit” and all that went with it. I have gained the deepest understanding of what it means to be alive, and to have found a love I might have chased forever without ever having found it. A heart needs to break before you can mend it.
One day we will find the right words, and they will be simple.
Hospi-Tales 